My boss went home today and he not only has to close on his house, and then set it up to rent out, but he also has to break up with his girlfriend. He's got an action packed and unenviable weekend. After three and a half months though, I'm finally getting some kind of guidance as to what is expected from me. For me, I feel like a junkie driving to the corner to buy a fix. I'm giddy with expectation that this might work out and scared it might not. They've reorganized things again...in a good way and I'm hoping that it means that I'll actually get to learn stuff and be useful and make a difference.

I sound like Werner Erhard. So, like talk about things you did in the 80's...I took est and I took several seminars associated with it and even personally corresponded with Erhard a few times. It's odd that it's so looked down on, now. I realized at the time that people looked at you cockeyed if you admitted you took est and even more so, if you were so foolhardy to admit you liked it. Honestly, though, I loved it.

After years of being completely suicidal, I felt like I had located a sense of self-recognition, which I never had had before. I find that in my day-to-day life, that I solve problems remembering some of the things I learned in est. I find that if I am pissed off about something, I go find who I'm pissed off with and talk to them about it. And I'm not perfect about that, either, but it gave me a place to start. I'd never had a place to start and that was pretty cool. I think that my work with est made me realize that I can start with me, which seems kind of basic and generic, but when you get involved in your busy life, it's hard to remember to function in that capacity.

Anyway, work still sucks, but things are looking up.