Wednesday, September 18, 2013

General Internet Etiquette for G+ and Facebook

  1. Do not post amber alerts about missing kids, if you haven't verified that the child is "still" missing. That's just stupid and inconsiderate.  You freak a lot of people out for no good reason.  I always check those and I always find that the kid is safe and sound or dead.  That's messed up.  Check that stuff before you flop it out there on the internet.  
  2. Do not post stuff quasi-weird garbage and waste my time, if you haven't actually researched it to be true, telling me that you haven't verified it.  I will unfriend you so fast you'll feel like the last kid picked in gym class.
  3. Do not go whole-hog nuts posting your crap into my feed about your Libertarian, Teabagger political view, if you know I don't want to read that crap.  Just set up people you'd like to send that garbage to and be so kind as to not send it to me. I was guilty of it and then I started getting a dose of my own medicine and realized that it truly sucks.  Join a group of like-minded people and let that come through your feed and you can post all day long to your groups.
  4. Don't post 10-30 inspirational pictures a day in my feed.  I know you're going through emotional turmoil, but honestly, if I wanted that crap, I'd get one of those balloon posters that says, "Inspiration" on it, like I should be inspired by hot air balloons.  I think they're really cool, but I can't say I think of those as inspiring.  After the first five inspirational quotes from the Dali Lama, I'm totally done.  He's cool.  He's awesome, but for the love of turnips, turn down the volume.  Pick a couple that are essential. Print them out.  Put them on your wall.  Please keep them off mine.
  5. Don't post anything on anyone's feed that you would mind your grandmother hearing come out of your mouth.  If it's a little risque, then just message it.  I have had ex-boyfriends in front of my children, husband, and in-laws, make reference to how I looked in spandex 20 years ago.  My in-laws, parents, husband and kids don't need to know about who I had sexual intercourse with before I met my husband.  My husband knows it all already and he's politely not expressed jealousy, but if you keep that crap up, things can change.
  6. Do not post vague references about your state of depression without explaining it.   "I"m so depressed" should be followed with "because my kids are driving me nuts" or some other explanation.  I don't mind helicoptering you a little, but work with me a little.  That vague stuff puts me over the edge and ticks off about everyone else I know.
  7. When you put pictures of yourself and your friends on the Internet for me to see, give me an explanation of what you're doing and with whom.  I actually like knowing what you're doing and I enjoy going through your pictures.  I have so many friends I've met via the 'Net that I know your story, but I may not know your face well, nor do I know your family.  It's nice when you tag and explain a little.  It gives me a face to put with the personality I've known for 10 years.  
  8. I hereby declare that all pictures of the old Willie Wonka and all cute meme's associated with it, are fucking banned.  Enough said. (That goes for all cartoon characters from Looney Toons, too!)
  9. Take the time to spellcheck what you say.  If you're on your phone, I forgive you.  If you're on a computer, you're a lazy douchebag.
  10. If you must rant about something, do it in your damned blog or have it as a note for a specific audience and warn me.  I will brace myself and commiserate as appropriate.