In a fit of worrying about the preop apointment, I had to read aboutI was freaking out completely when I read about full knee replacements and then I found out about the kind I am having -- a compartmentalized knee replacement and I was
thanking my lucky stars.

The thing that bothers me is that they did ask me to donate my own blood, which I really can't do because I'm always a bit anemic. So I think Mike is a universal donor and we were thinking about it and then we found out that it's $275 out of pocket and we blanched a bit about paying that much for blood I may not need.

After reading the information, I think it's highly unlikely that I would need it, but I'm going to ask the doctor later his morning.

I need to get up soon...so I will report back after the appointment.

I'm not dead...just kind of still recovering.

I've got knee replacement surgery on March 7. The reason it's that late basically involved a series of miscommunications from doctors' offices, which only serves to aggravate me endlessly, so I am not going to reiterate it here.

There's a good shot after 5 days in the hospital, I'll be in a rehab facility. Mike and I are redoing the bedroom, so we can put in a mini-fridge and a small microwave, so I can store and make food without having to travel up and down steps through the whole darn house to get to the kitchen with a walker.

I'm scared about the surgery. That's all I can fathom to say. I have such horrible pain in my knee as it is. My other knee is hurting from the limping, so I'm in constant pain. I think of this surgery in the same way as a woman considers childbirth -- it's going to hurt like hell, but there's a goal in sight.

I'm hanging in there to have no more pain, to be able to exercise, and to essentially, have my life back in my control and not be at the whim of whoever is pushing my wheelchair, victim to whether or not there's an elevator close by, or unable to keep up with my children's needs.

I think being unavailable to my children has been excrutiatingly painful. To not be able to get up when one of them takes a tumble to comfort them, but to have to tell them to come to me has been so mortifying. And they've been so kind and patient and helpful. My house is really clean -- and mostly by them! I would really like to be able to spend more time with Genny before she gets to first grade, but my inability to get around, makes that impossible, so she's continuing to go to LaDawn's.

I miss the life I use to have. I can't wait to get it back.