Just been way depressed. The job thing is really hard. Mike has been getting recruiters contacting him from all over the country, so we're just hanging in. We don't tell the kids any more because we don't want them to freak.
And Mike gets no vacation days at his job. If he wants a day off, he has to "make it up" or eat the pay. He continues to apply all over, but there's just not much out there at the moment.
I've been applying for secretarial jobs, but I am keenly aware of the bias people show towards obese people like me. It wouldn't matter if I were God, if I am fat, I'm probably not going to get hired over the skinny woman.
I continue to work out at the pool. My sugars are so high. I have to get my weight down. I'm thinking I might go earlish mornings and swim then, too, or at least go to the aqua-aerobics classes offered 3x a week.
Mike's helping me with my food stuff. Last night, I got low-fat sugar free pudding for dessert. It helped me get some milk, but didn't send my sugars to the moon. Of course, I also went to the pool last night, so my sugars should be decent this morning.
Taking the Bear for a blood draw to see if he qualifies for some new asthma/allergy regimen. Wish us luck! I'd really like to be able to leave my house with him!
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Thursday, July 09, 2009
It's official, asthma freaking sucks rocks.
Russell has been sick all danged month and that is pretty awful. I have been struggling with night asthma for the first time in years. We can't afford for me to take allergy shots, too, with the new healthcare, so Russell is the only one getting them at the moment.
This morning he scared the stuffing out of me at 520AM when I went to change out the laundry. We asked each other why the other was up and both answered with "asthma." *sigh*
__
I got laid off by the same jerk who promised me a full-time job and then reduced my hours to 15 hours. I'm doing little odd jobs at mech turk just to put a little bit of a gift card away for upcoming events like Russell's birthday and Christmas through the bankruptcy. Mike does the occasional programming job there, but the transcriptions are panning out well for me. Mike is looking for other work all over, but nothing has popped yet. He was second choice at his last interview behind a guy who'd worked there before. It would have been a sweet job and the guy told Mike's recruiter that if they had something else, they would call Mike. In this economy, I'm not holding my breath, though.
Recently, I've been transcribing some interviews of Ron Athey and ended up googling him to have a chance figuring out the transcription. I don't mind the content. I think it's artistic overkill, intellectually, but I understand the raw place that kind of art comes from. It reminds me of something I heard somewhere about how real blues comes from real pain. I haven't had time to hit another transcription, but I do notice that they're starting to offer more for it and no one has grabbed up the transcripts of those interviews in days because I'm sure the content has people freaking out.
I did mark in the comments some of the terms I learned from his work: Solar Anus, Trilogy, Hallelujah, and I gather in one of the triology pieces he uses a double-ended dildo and demonstrates castration of said item, which seems pretty gruesome, frankly. If there are a bunch of little old grammies doing transcription, aside from me, I can totally see them NOT choosing to do the transcription. I used to live in the Tenderloin in San Francisco and often clubbed at gay bars because I could dance without being hassled, so I guess I am more matter-of-fact about it, though the fact that I am old as dirt probably makes me a jaded old broad.
__
I've been swimming about every other day, sometimes I skip a day, sometimes I go 2 days in a row, so it works out to every other day. My feet are achy from jumping around and I think I stubbed my toe, so I need to start putting on my watershoes. On the plus side, my knee feels better than it has in ever. It still hurts and all that, but basically, I feel stronger. I take the old lady cart less in Walmart. I sometimes take small walks. It snuck up on me, you know, the feeling better. I'm used to being in pain so much, I hadn't realized how it hurts less to get up. I get up and expect to wince, and I wince less. I don't know if that makes sense, but it is what it is.
I've also been doing my yoga pretty frequently. I get up after Mike leaves, often, so I just lay out on the bed and do my yoga. It helps to shake off the early morning stiffness of arthritis and age. It also helps me wake up enough to go shower.
Russell has been sick all danged month and that is pretty awful. I have been struggling with night asthma for the first time in years. We can't afford for me to take allergy shots, too, with the new healthcare, so Russell is the only one getting them at the moment.
This morning he scared the stuffing out of me at 520AM when I went to change out the laundry. We asked each other why the other was up and both answered with "asthma." *sigh*
__
I got laid off by the same jerk who promised me a full-time job and then reduced my hours to 15 hours. I'm doing little odd jobs at mech turk just to put a little bit of a gift card away for upcoming events like Russell's birthday and Christmas through the bankruptcy. Mike does the occasional programming job there, but the transcriptions are panning out well for me. Mike is looking for other work all over, but nothing has popped yet. He was second choice at his last interview behind a guy who'd worked there before. It would have been a sweet job and the guy told Mike's recruiter that if they had something else, they would call Mike. In this economy, I'm not holding my breath, though.
Recently, I've been transcribing some interviews of Ron Athey and ended up googling him to have a chance figuring out the transcription. I don't mind the content. I think it's artistic overkill, intellectually, but I understand the raw place that kind of art comes from. It reminds me of something I heard somewhere about how real blues comes from real pain. I haven't had time to hit another transcription, but I do notice that they're starting to offer more for it and no one has grabbed up the transcripts of those interviews in days because I'm sure the content has people freaking out.
I did mark in the comments some of the terms I learned from his work: Solar Anus, Trilogy, Hallelujah, and I gather in one of the triology pieces he uses a double-ended dildo and demonstrates castration of said item, which seems pretty gruesome, frankly. If there are a bunch of little old grammies doing transcription, aside from me, I can totally see them NOT choosing to do the transcription. I used to live in the Tenderloin in San Francisco and often clubbed at gay bars because I could dance without being hassled, so I guess I am more matter-of-fact about it, though the fact that I am old as dirt probably makes me a jaded old broad.
__
I've been swimming about every other day, sometimes I skip a day, sometimes I go 2 days in a row, so it works out to every other day. My feet are achy from jumping around and I think I stubbed my toe, so I need to start putting on my watershoes. On the plus side, my knee feels better than it has in ever. It still hurts and all that, but basically, I feel stronger. I take the old lady cart less in Walmart. I sometimes take small walks. It snuck up on me, you know, the feeling better. I'm used to being in pain so much, I hadn't realized how it hurts less to get up. I get up and expect to wince, and I wince less. I don't know if that makes sense, but it is what it is.
I've also been doing my yoga pretty frequently. I get up after Mike leaves, often, so I just lay out on the bed and do my yoga. It helps to shake off the early morning stiffness of arthritis and age. It also helps me wake up enough to go shower.
Tuesday, July 07, 2009
We're still struggling financially. It's been, in fact, more brutal than any other time in our lives. The expense of medications for the children, even with insurance, the medical issues I am facing, all add to our expenses. I've cut back every way I know how.
I buy from a local Mexican market to get a lot of my produce because the food is inexpensive and delicious. Last night, I bought tamales and that was dinner with a salad and some salsa. I buy whatever I can there because unlike Walmart, I know more of that money stays in the local economy and lord knows, we can use that.
We're starting the process of bankruptcy. In that process, I've done so much research and reading. I found this personal finance guide site. I thought the articles were kind of generic, but ok. I really wished they had more on the bankruptcy process, but I guess that's why I have to pay the lawyer so darned much.
The best news is that some very dear friends got together and sent me a visa gift card and I was able to buy all of our meds at once. I woke up and took a sugar that was not perfect, but much better than yesterday's 132 -- 106. When normal fasting is supposed to be 80-95 and I usually norm at 115, a 106 feels super positive. I also swam last night, which I'm sure is helping.
I notice in my swimming, in fact, that things are a little sore in the mornings now -- that I'm actually working out and not just paddling around. I notice that my hips are smoother and my legs more defined. When I get up and am sore, I lay back down and do a little yoga, i.e., I assume fish position and force my body to warm up and wake up. I'm combining it a little with another movement program, so that as I exhale from fish I'm doing a small neck movement with my chin toward my chest and wow, if that little bit of daily yoga doesn't make a huge difference in my body for the day. My feet and hands are often sore from all the pool workouts, but not excrutiating. There's going to be an aquaaerobics class early at the pool next month, so I'm going to pay my $30 and go. I think it'll remind me what I'm not doing and help push me along. I figure the ultimate payoff will be worth it.
So I hang in there.
I buy from a local Mexican market to get a lot of my produce because the food is inexpensive and delicious. Last night, I bought tamales and that was dinner with a salad and some salsa. I buy whatever I can there because unlike Walmart, I know more of that money stays in the local economy and lord knows, we can use that.
We're starting the process of bankruptcy. In that process, I've done so much research and reading. I found this personal finance guide site. I thought the articles were kind of generic, but ok. I really wished they had more on the bankruptcy process, but I guess that's why I have to pay the lawyer so darned much.
The best news is that some very dear friends got together and sent me a visa gift card and I was able to buy all of our meds at once. I woke up and took a sugar that was not perfect, but much better than yesterday's 132 -- 106. When normal fasting is supposed to be 80-95 and I usually norm at 115, a 106 feels super positive. I also swam last night, which I'm sure is helping.
I notice in my swimming, in fact, that things are a little sore in the mornings now -- that I'm actually working out and not just paddling around. I notice that my hips are smoother and my legs more defined. When I get up and am sore, I lay back down and do a little yoga, i.e., I assume fish position and force my body to warm up and wake up. I'm combining it a little with another movement program, so that as I exhale from fish I'm doing a small neck movement with my chin toward my chest and wow, if that little bit of daily yoga doesn't make a huge difference in my body for the day. My feet and hands are often sore from all the pool workouts, but not excrutiating. There's going to be an aquaaerobics class early at the pool next month, so I'm going to pay my $30 and go. I think it'll remind me what I'm not doing and help push me along. I figure the ultimate payoff will be worth it.
So I hang in there.
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