Monday, November 13, 2017

Baby, I'm Back and Bananas

I haven't written here in a bit.  I've been writing a lot on Facebook, so it seems like my impetus for writing here has gone, but tonight, it came back.

A year ago, I had a hysteroscopy and my uterus was smooth muscle.  A few short months ago I had one and the inside of my uterus looked like an eyelash sweater.  Horrified by the polyps waving their little arms from my uterus, I remembered protozoans in college under a microscope bopping along in reaction to various stimuli.  Officially, my diagnosis means I just have polyps and they're currently, non-cancerous, as far as we know, but there's an element of clock-chasing.  The more weight I lose, the easier everything becomes in terms of insulin, recovery, and all that shit.

Every drop of blood that hits my pad or underwear is a scare though, in the interim.  I never know if that's the start of something worse. If I start bleeding heavily, it means that I've got to call in and the hysterectomy gets put on hold.  I would go see an oncologist and then I see if things have spread, etc. Sadly, I cannot schedule a hysterectomy sooner than around Christmas.  Mike is working mandatory over time for the forseeable future.  Genny will be on break at that time, so I'll have coverage at home. If we have to, Mike will work early and Genny will go in later and I'll have a half hour unattended.  It's about 8 weeks of recovery.

I find it well nigh on impossible to keep the panic from racing across my scalp like ants each day and I bicycle it away in this beautiful recumbent bike Mike and my friend, Robyn, bought me for my birthday, as often as I can.  I bury my hands in Muffin, too, because that cat knows the pain, panic, and depression that can accompany fibromyalgia, nevermind a cancer scare. I bury my face in Mike because love knows no bounds and I get hugs from Genny and Russell because hugs from your kids are the best thing since a good night's sleep.

I ended up here tonight because on a fluke, I was reading this article on Facebook about how what kind of banana you select can tell a lot about your health.  I was thinking about how I used to like the green ones, but lately, I've liked the brown ones.

"The spotted yellow banana, on the other hand? This banana is also rich in antioxidants and a great choice for patients who are currently fighting off tumors. The brown spots are actually a positive indicator. This means that the banana will help to break down various cells in the body, especially abnormal cells that are known to cause cancer." -- http://goodfullness.net/which-banana-would-you-eat-your-answer-may-have-an-effect-on-your-health

That last line, made me burst into tears and made me want to buy a big fucking box of bananas.