This week kind of blew over me like a hurricane. Really.

I am still trying to figure out how I feel.

Bottomline: No one but us showed up at the hearing. Complete custody of Russell is mine.

The adoption is hopefully going to be done by Christmas.

Everything else is just kind of crazy.

So tomorrow is the hearing for our filing of abandonment against Bear's biological father.

I just hope he doesn't show up.

I'm actually applying for work that I want. I just applied for a job with a place that works with families and kids. I figured that would be a good match for me.

I'm also getting materials together to apply for my substitute license. I'd prefer to be a substitute -- I live in a place that would be conducive to me working in three or four different counties -- and a substitute position would work around the kids' school schedule. On the other hand, I'd be a substitute and we all know how much abuse substitute teachers can take. We even know how much abuse we've seen inflicted on them as children.

I figure either way, I can work. It might not be a ton of money, but it'd be money and it'd be nice to be working.

If things get bad, I'll go back to temping, but I'd rather pull my navel through my but than do that.

There's so much paperwork. It takes so long to process. I'm going to have to go be fingerprinted, which ought to be big fun. Thankfully, I didn't get arrested for any of the bad stuff I did in my early 20's. ;)

Today, I felt like I didn't do much. I was just kind of in slow motion all day. I woke up late after going to bed late and got moving late and everything was just later and later as the day progressed.

I've been playing runescape lately. It's got me totally hooked. I've gotten to be a pretty good magician and fighter, but that's about it. I'm bored mostly. I hit this place before in playing and found it just as boring. And then Mike said something and I was all interested again.

Now, I can't remember why I was interested.

Genny's butterfly room is shaping up. Stuff is so pretty and she feels special, so that's all that mattered. She was running through the house shouting,"I've got a pretty butterfly room!" We finally asked her to stop shouting in the house.

I got the butterfly canopy up and I got curtains hung on the window and you can't see butterflies from the outside. I have this thing about not wanting people to look at my windows and be able to determine whose room is whose. I don't want them to see that the rooms are for kids or to be able to determine the gender of the child whose room it is. I know I live in the country, so I should get over it, but it's just a parental weirdness with me and Mike actually agreed.

So we actually went outside and made sure that you couldn't see the butterflies on her curtains from outside.

I'm halfway through the construction of her closet organization system thing. I think Mike's going to have to pound out the board and pole that's in there and we'll have to repaint a bit, but I think she'll be happy with the final result. We're also going to be putting up butterfly stuff we bought for her room to decorate further and her Winnie-the-Pooh light is going to go to charity along with her WTP throw rug. I have to replace her throw rug with something pretty, but I can't find anything I'm thrilled with yet. The thing that was supposed to come with the set, is ugly and expensive, so I need to hunt a little longer and I tell you, my inclination is just to skip it.

I also have to paint over existing stencils of WTP and friends on the wall. So I need to scrounge through the garage and find my bucket of paint and do my repairs.

I also was Suzy HomeEc today -- roasted a beautiful turkey and made yams, stuffing, and gravy for it. I also made a lovely no-sugar added cranberry sauce with apples, raspberries, lemon zest, orange zest, and a boatload of fresh ginger. Both kids liked it -- a feat unheard of in most kitchens AND the husband liked it, and he usually loathes cranberry sauce.

Of course, I got splattered several times while tending the pot, so I really need to think about that whole "wear an apron" thing more carefully. I need to can the rest of it and give it away to my diabetic friends for the holidays or plan to make more. I have such a huge pot, canning it seems likely.

Genny had a purple beaded necklace at dinner and put it on Mike's head and said,"You be the fairy and I'll be the princess because fairies like princesses." Mike says,"I don't know about that. Fairies might like princes, especially, if they're girls."

Then as an afterthought, he says,"Unless, they're from San Francisco."

I piped up,"Well, those fairies like queens."

Mike smirked.

Genny says, "Well, then they would like queens and princesses."

Mike and I giggled and said,"Nope, fairies from San Francisco like queens."

Then I said,"I'd like to be the fairy." So Mike gave me the necklace and said,"Just so you know, I don't swing that way."

I laughed and laughed.

We got up early this morning and took the boy child to get a barium swallow done.

And it's official, he has gastric reflux. We kind of knew that and I'd been cooking to counteract that, but I'm glad we caught it now, so that nothing permanent or awful happened. He's been taking prevacid for a bit now and I'd bought him over the counter meds for it, too.

I don't know if this entails more testing or not. We should find out on Monday.

Mike's now harrassing me to get the same thing done, but I'm waiting until January when our new health account thing rolls over because this is going to cost us big.

In other health news, I'm low thyroid again, so I'm having to increase my dose. It's weird because all the stuff they worried would happen when I took the new thyroid meds did not and I went hypothyroid again, which has fucked my sugars to no end and which means I was right to be taking more thyroid there for a week or so.

The good news is that despite that I feel better and now, I'll get to feel even better, so nyah, cruel health goddess! I'd just like to not have to take insulin in the interim! Maybe I need to leave some steamed broccoli and steamed brown rice on the cruel health goddess' altar. I wonder if she likes salsa?

It's becoming nigh on 2AM, so off to bed with me.

Today was one of those days that when I got up, I thought to myself, "I wonder if I call Mike and beg to sleep in bed all day because I've got cramps, if I could just crawl in bed and die without feeling guilty?"

Then I realized, I'm me, so the guilt would be there regardless, because I know he'd say yeah, no prob and I'd feel rotten because our laundry didn't get done and I didn't clean stuff out of the car, etc. Mike doesn't care and never judges me when I do that stuff, but I still feel bad.

So I did laundry all day. It was kind of quiet. Just me, various renditions of Star Trek and MacGyver, folding sheets, hanging sheets, and getting towels together and put away.

Russell came home at 3 and we chatted a little. Then, I went and got Genny at LaDawn's. We talked for a bit and then, she had this plastic spider on her toaster cover. She was trying to scare the kids and was talking about catching the spider. I was kind of wrinkling my forehead because they were clearly not falling for it, but then she screamed so loud in pretending that I jumped. Then she was giving me crap for jumping. I laughed and said,"Hey, I spent a quiet day of doing laundry and getting stuff done, so the noise itself startled me, not the plastic spider!" Then she said,"It's never quiet here."

All I could think is that I don't think I could handle not having some quiet time. I think the most enjoyable part of my day was hanging sheets on the clothesline. I was enjoying the sunshine balanced against a cool autumn day. I annoyed a male quail in charge of a covey, so he was giving me "back off bitch" chirrups and I smiled at him and told him gruffly to get off my bird house. He flew off in a flutter of wings and chirrups to keep track of his wards.

Now, I enter the house and I think to myself, "What the hell is that smell?" I've searched the kitchen and all I found was a moldy orange left over from cutting the things for the cross-country team -- no one but Mike can eat oranges in our house because the rest of us are allergic or are worried about allergies -- so I tossed it out. Mike threw out the trash, but I can still smell something odd. I have a super sensitive nose, but damn.

That should be a reality game show,"What the hell is that smell?" You put something horrendous under a couple of contestants' noses and once they've stopped gagging, you ask them, complete with audience participation,"What the HELL is that SMELL?!" The first one to ring in correctly gets points. The final round would be weird things -- not easily identifiable maybe in vials sitting on a wheel o' fortune wheel maybe with hints offered. Contestants could get one hint for free, but further hints would jeopardize the amount of final loot that they took home.

I may have too much time on my hands.

Speaking of which, I demonstrated how much time I have on my hands while driving to Salt Lake City. I came up with a redneck vocabularly word passing an exit for Shafter. I told Mike,"What shafter in the fridge?" He snickered appreciatively.

I got up feeling like I'd been drugged and driven to Central America, last night, such that I was sleeping so hard when Genny came in to cuddle, that I had to literally drag myself up kicking and screaming and fell back asleep twice in the process. Sidenote: You know you're a mom when you toss blankets over your child and you make sure while not conscious that her feet are covered.

I got up and got moving and got Genny over to LaDawn's for schoolwork and then headed to the small city to eat then swim. I swam for a half hour and there were a few things I learned about how much my stupid knee hurts, but hell, it felt good and my sugars were better afterwards.

Then I started to drive home and discovered a Walmart very close to our closest store. I got so excited that I drove over through the parking lot to look around and verify that it was open and then called LaDawn to say,"Did you know that...?"

I need a life. I can't believe I'm excited at the prospect of a closer Walmart, but for me, it means less driving to get house essentials. I know I should just sell my soul to the devil and get it over already, but when you drive as much as I do in the course of a week, you'd appreciate closer shopping, too.

Then I came home and threw together a pot of beef stew, some laundry, and a fruit crisp that was to die for -- plums, pears, apples, and raspberries. Next time, I'm leaving out the raspberries, but it was yummy. A little snipped up fresh ginger, lemon zest, and pecans made for a yummy crisp. I made buttered egg noodles to put stew on and munched away.

Tomorrow, I need to cook up and can the cranberries and raspberries into a yummy canned cranberry sauce for turkey. I'm roasting one on Friday because they had a two for one deal. The other one is in the freezer waiting for T-Day. I figure a bit of sugar-free cranberry sauce done ahead for the holidays is a good thing. :)

Course, I'm a bit touched in the head, too. *chortle*

So, I was reading a friend's blog and she had this quiz thing up, so I went over and did the quiz, of course. Mine made no sense, so I did a different quiz. I thought the results were interesting and pretty much sum me up.

You fit in with: Taoism Your ideals mostly resemble those of the Taoist faith. Spirituality is the most important thing in your life. You strive to live by all of your ideals, and live a very intellectually focused life. 60% spiritual. 30% reason-oriented.

Take this quiz at QuizGalaxy.com

Honestly, I believe in Christ as my Savior, but I also believe in a lot of stuff that isn't necessarily in agreement with what's in the Bible. However, the way I live is with the idea that I should always strive to do the right thing and be kind to people no matter what. I'm not always successfuly, but I figure it's a good goal.

Ultimately, I think I end up being what many would consider a good Christian because I do live like that. I feel like with my kids I have to set an example, so I live my life with that in mind. I feel like charity is the one thing that everyone should do no matter what because helping people is what we are on this earth to do. I believe that we are all given opportunities to give to others all the time and that taking advantage of those opportunities is our duty.

I still do it, but I try not to judge folks. I have a wide cadre of friends from several walks of life and with a wide variety of political viewpoints. Some of my dearest friends are avid conservatives and if you know anything about me at all, I'm a bleeding heart liberal, baby. Bleed me dry, and you'll still find the hardcore liberal inside me. I tend to look past the politics and look to what people do -- their random acts of kindness.

Taoist seems so weird, but not far off in many respects.

After doing some research on the net, I've discovered that hyPERthyroidism, like from taking too much hormone, can make a diabetic's sugars go high.

All I could think is SHIT!

I took insulin with dinner, ate a sensible dinner and still had a 178. I piggybacked some more insulin after that. I sure hope the endocrinologist calls me back soon.

I thought maybe I'd lose weight.

But no.

Tomorrow, I take the blood test to confirm this, but I suspect I'm in trouble.

Add to this dilemna that my boobs hurt and my period is due -- always around the full moon, and I'm a miserable witch a bit too early for Halloween.

The Gilligan's Island theme song keeps going through my head,"A three hour tour..."

The trip ended up being about 10 hours there and 10 hours back.

I've had people say that I-5 from Sacramento to LA is the dullest trip in the universe. To them, I suggest driving I-80 through Nevada. In the day. Absolutely mind numbingly boring. Every single town has either a West or an East attached to it. So as you're zooming by at 75-80 mph, you're driving by East Bumfuck, Bumfuck, and West Bumfuck.

You have to schedule your pee stops because in some places the towns are an hour apart.

Some of the names of these places are so weird, too. There's Deeth Starr Valley. Russell asked, "Is that like Death Valley?" I said, "No, that's Deeth (Teeth). Death Valley is in California." Next to Deeth Starr Valley is Welcome Valley and in the same neighborhood is Ruby Valley, which, of course, I view as very important. ;)

I kind of had to make up what's interesting in this ride. One thing is that there were several areas of geothermal energy and plants complete with turbines that took advantage of it. I think the most telling sign said,"Danger Scalding Water." I kept having visions of some stupid bit of cattle coming in to take a drink and burning off its lips or something. It's just kind of creepy in some ways on a day when it's 76 degrees to see steam all over the landscape on the side of the road.

The next thing that was kind of weird was all the salt. Like everywhere.

You say, but that's the Bonneville Salt Flats -- there were pools of salt water all over the place for miles and miles and miles, but there were also miles and miles of dried salt beds far into Nevada where there was little growing and far from the reaches of the salt flats proper. Of course, in the midst of absolute nothing, where nothing grows in the intense salty environment is this crazy tree. From a distance, I asked Mike,"What the hell *is* that? A cell phone tower gone bad?" As we're driving by it, Mike says,"No, it's a fruit tree and there is actual 'fruit' on the ground." I say,"Weird."

We stopped in Wendover on the first night because we were tired and got a hotel. What's odd is that apparently there was some kind of big hoohah over whether or not Wendover was in Utah or Nevada and where one draws the line. Because in West Wendover there are brothels and casinos, which offend the overly Christian who live in Utah. Utah apparently wanted to wash its hands of Wendover.

"HANDOVER WENDOVER. An historic meeting took place last week to decide the fate of Wendover, UTAH. The town sits on the Utah border, directly opposite West Wendover, NEVADA, and according to the Las Vegas Review-Journal, the two burgs are about to merge. If all the "i's" are dotted and "t's" crossed, Wendover, Utah, will cease to exist because the two-state compact will cede the Utah portion to Nevada. Consideration must be given to schools, parks, social services and transportation -- as well as municipal debt. If it comes off, it will be the first time in modern American history that a state boundary will change to stitch one city to another state, says a spokesman for the process." from State Net

Personally, Wendover and West Wendover were just exits with places we could pee or eat, so the casinos and brothels had little impact on us. Nevada has fewer taxes than Utah, so I guess I'd rather be a Nevadan than a Utahan. Not to mention that Utahan is hard to say.

There are apparently three or four prisons on the route, too. Several signs warn against stopping because it's a prison zone. I'm thinking, if I'm driving 75-80 mph on up and some guy in an orange jumpsuit is hitching on the side of the road, the chances are, I'd blink and miss him along with half the places on this route.

My final comment regarding the driving part of the trip: The going joke between Mike and me: "I'll pay you $20 if you find a Catholic Church in this town (Salt Lake City)." Never have I seen so many Mormon Churches. How do you identify a Mormon church? It'd be the steepled building with no crucifix.

I'm about doing laundry til I puke today. Tomorrow, I take the packed van, pick up the girl around 1115 at daycare, pick up the hubbins at work around 1145, and the boy at noon and then we head for Mel's.

We're going to a Princess tea party. Please gag me, but yes, that's what we're doing. It's Lulu's birthday and we'd said some time ago that we were going to go. Russell has asked if he can bring his gameboy, I also suggested that he could stay at the hotel and do his homework, if he was going to be a snot. He quickly stated that no, he would not be a snot.

I bought a gift for her younger brother, whose birthday was a couple weeks ago. I figure he's young enough at two to not quite get why he doesn't get gifts and she does. I bought him a gi-normous tonka truck, which I am pretty sure, he'll adore. I got her one of those unfold it fabric princess trunks, a princess strobe light, and a Ken doll. Her mom is getting her a princess doll, so I figured she'd probably need a prince, so that they could marry and live happily ever after.

I've got nutritious snacks for the trip -- no crap, so that I can actually keep my sugars reasonably managed and so the kids don't end up cranky from crappy fatty salty food. I got carmel corn cakes, carrot sticks, celery sticks, cheese chunks, and fruit. I got propel because it doesn't have a bunch of sugar in it and because the kids like it and it'll keep everyone hydrated. I got diet soda for me and mountain dew for Daddy because I figure 8 hours of driving will require caffeine. I'm also packing bottled water. Because the weather is supposed to be touchy this weekend, we're also going to pack winter coats. If you can think of anything I forgot, of course, lemme know. ;)

Oh, yeah, the kitchen sink! Shit. I'm going to have to repack EVERYthing. Heh.

My biggest problem with packing is that I have no idea what I will want to wear, so I end up packing about three times the clothes that I actually need, and invariably forget some important component to a family member's wardrobe. Last time, I didn't pack enough socks for Mike and Bear, so we found a local Walmart and bought socks.

My sugars are better today. I tested and they were 106 at 7AM. I went back to sleep and they were still 106 at 10. At brunch, I was careful -- a couple slices of pizza and a big salad. I told Mike that I don't understand my need to sleep until 10-1030 daily. It's just plain weird. He said that I should go to bed earlier. The trouble is that I am such a night owl that I get a lot more crap done at night, so I prefer to stay up to do it. I just feel guilty and naughty sleeping in so much.

I'm also thinking that the burgundy curtains on the northeast side of the house aren't helping. My already cave-like room becomes darker and cozier, so my light clock is all confuzzled. I'm thinking to change out the curtains to sheers, so that we retain the privacy, but gain some of the light.

I need to stop dawdling at the computer and head out to get Genny.

Lately, I've been so tired and things are hurting in weird places.

I haven't been checking my sugars much, but I pulled one last night -- a 145. For me, that's kind of high before bed. I usually like to have my sugars more around 100-110 before bed. So I took an extra glucophage. This morning, they hadn't dropped much only 129 -- again high for me.

Around 4PM, I took my sugars and they were 93, and I was hungry, so I had a small slice of apple pie. Three hours later, they were 188! I was stunned. I haven't had a sugar that high since I took prednisone!

I took a little 70/30 insulin to bring it down. Two hours after dinner, my sugars were 122. Kind of high for me.

I biked a little on the exercise bike and now, they're 106, but damn. Makes me wonder what the heck?

I'm going to get up at a decent hour and do a quesadilla with a pound of salsa for breakfast. I'll have a sandwich for lunch with a small apple, and then dinner will be Hamburger Helper with ground turkey and veggies and I'll track the sugars.

Today was Bear's last run.

Just shy of the finish line, he started to stop and said,"My back hurts!" I said,"So, come on! You can beat your mom, so RUN!"

We started running together, and he dusted me and then he got over the finish line. Mike snapped a picture.

I got up there and he triumphantly said,"Mom! I'm not last! I beat like 10 people!"

Nevermind that he was 146th of 157, that simply didn't matter a whit to him. He finished and he wasn't last and that was all that mattered to him.

I don't think you could have wiped the smile off that kid's face. He was so happy.

I'm just about the proudest mom in the entire universe, in case you were wondering. My motto is: "I don't give a crap how fast he is, as long as he finishes."

I got up at 520AM to pee -- hell, I wasn't sleeping much anyhow and called my parents. They were okay, but scared. A lot of people were missing and some people had died. They'd managed to keep their electricity and phone, but water had blown across the road by a culvert on one of the roads that they use to leave the farm.

My dad's rain gauge had measured nearly 9 inches of rain before it overflowed. My dad estimated closer to 11 inches of rain over the weekend.

Their boat had lost its mooring at Spafford Lake, a place where the main road had simply washed away. A neighbor had tied the boat to a tree, but my parents were worrying that if they didn't get the boat that the boat would be stuck on top of the neighbor's pier when the water receded and they'd never be able to get it out of there. The water had been 5 feet up, but had dropped to 3 feet, so it's going down, but the fear in my mom's voice really did a lot to add to my feeling of dread and helplessness.

After much detouring and driving around to get there, they retrieved their boat and waited for hours for the marina folks to detour and drive around to get it. The boat is put up and they got home safe after hours and hours of driving, when it should have only been 1-2 hours of driving. My mom called me at 10PM her time and said they'd gotten dinner at 9, she was washing dishes and heading to bed.

She was so upset. She said Alstead was flattened. She said that most of the people wouldn't have thought to have flood insurance -- the Connecticut River wasn't the problem, it was all the small streams and rivers that overflowed and caused all the flooding. New England is kind of like a rainforest and is full of these small streams and brooks. With that much rain, all of those small babbling brooks became roaring rivers tearing away the foundations of homes.

My mom said neighbors of theirs on the lake are missing. This couple's house is intact, but their truck was in a river and they were nowhere to be found.

I just heard a news story on the 11 o'clock news that said that there was severe flooding in my home town area and that the Governor of New Hampshire has declared a state of emergency there.

Two people are dead, and there are several missing. Lots of roads and bridges are out.

What you have to understand is that there aren't a detour routes in New Hampshire. Basically, there's one road to most places and maybe one back route and several of those places are simply unreachable. I looked at a map of the area and compared that against a newspaper article of all of the roads and bridges that are gone and it's pretty freaky. I know that there are places my mom won't be shopping any time soon.

I can't call my parents because it's 230AM there, so I'd be taking my life into my own hands. I also know that they didn't mention our town, but several surrounding towns and that my parents' farm is on a hill, so while they may have some flooding they're not likely to be cut off from anything. Also, our town wasn't listed as one of the ones affected in any of the stories, just Keene, which is the big main tow.

However, the main town where my mom and dad get groceries had flooding of 4-6 feet, so I don't know if they'll be able to get what they need for a few days anyhow.

Mike was all jazzed because he set up a recumbent bike, for me and spent a couple hours doing so, and I'm in here bawling and searching the internet for information rather than using it. Tomorrow, after I talk to my mom, I'll go use it. I promise.

I'm just freaking out until tomorrow morning.

It's a lazy meme stolen from Robyn

1. Name someone with the same birthday as you? D. H. Lawrence, Harry Connick, Jr., and O. Henry. It's also a rather infamous day -- the day the World Trade Centers blew up and the day Hurricane Iniki hit Kauai -- filmed in "Jurassic Park." 9/11

2. Where was your first kiss? Some kind of camp thing when I was about 14. I kissed a 17 year old named J.W. who was hoping to get some. I was young enough and naive enough to completely freak out and turn him down.

3. Have you ever seriously vandalized someone else’s property? Seriously, no.

4. Have you ever hit someone of the opposite sex? Yes. I smack Mike when he's giving me a hard time. He laughs at me. Basturd.

5. Have you ever sung in front of a large number of people? Yeah, in church when I was a teenager.

6. What’s the first thing you notice about the preferred sex? His eyes, his hands, his brain, and his sense of humor.

7. What really turns you on? To the tune of "These are a Few of my Favorite Things," Vibrating butt plugs and men who look like thugs....heh. Like I'd really put *that* on the internet. If you want something innocent - I get turned on spiritually by a beautiful sunset, watching quail, and watching stars.

8. What do you order at Starbucks? Venti sugar-free vanilla latte with 2%, mint mocha frappucino (when I need my daily caloric intake), and a tall pumpkin spice latte (if I don't care how high my sugars go.

9. What is your biggest mistake? Believing that I don't make mistakes.

10. Have you ever hurt yourself on purpose? No, I do a fine job of that without intention.

11. Say something totally random about yourself. I really like my "Queen of the Freakin' Universe" sweatshirt.

12. Has anyone ever said you looked like a celebrity? When I was young and skinny, I was told I look like Lauren Bacall.

13. Do you still watch kiddy movies or tv shows? Yes. I have children. I'm kind of screwed that way.

14. Did you have braces? Nope, but it was a narrow escape. My teeth magically grew together and straight.

15. Are you comfortable with your height? Yes.

16. What is the most romantic thing someone of the preferred sex has done for you? The question is more along the lines, of what hasn't he done for me that I wish for? And, really, I can't think of anything. Mike's pretty cool that way.

17. When do you know it’s love? I used to think I was in love and then I met Mike. I think for me, I knew it was love when I just felt calm and happy about him. There were no flutters nothing crazy, just it felt like everything just clicked into place and I loved him.

18. Do you speak any other languages? Spanish is a second language I'm pretty fluent in. I can read German and I know a few phrases in Polish and Russian. I had a year of Latin, but I remember little of it.

19. Have you ever been to a tanning salon? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

20. What magazines do you read? Better Homes and Garden, The New Yorker, and Life.

21. Have you ever ridden in a limo? Yes. I got driven to school in one a few times.

22. Has anyone you were really close to passed away? My grandfather died a couple years ago before I got the time to see him. Broke my heart.

23. Do you watch mtv? Not enough to merit mention.

24. What’s something that really annoys you? When Russell has one of his weird little schizo moments, where he freaks out about either spiders, snakes, scorpions, mice, or bees. Tonight, it was cold and he was swearing up and down there was a black widow on the front step. "Just go inside, Russell." "I think it's a black widow. It's definitely a black spider." In my head, I'm thinking, it's cold enough to freeze my big fat butt off, I'm thinking large clump of soil, here.

25. What’s something you really like? Cooking for people. Doing things for people that I know they'll appreciate. Massages. Sewing. Making out with Mike on the couch.

26. Do you like Michael Jackson? I liked his music, but now, I just think he's a sick bastard who should be castrated and ignored.

27. Can you dance? Yes. I took tap and ballet. I can dance. I also can follow a lead and dance quite well in almost anything.

28. What’s the latest you have ever stayed up? I pulled all-nighters in college several times.

29. Have you ever been rushed by an ambulance into the emergency room? Not yet.

30. Do you actually read these when other people fill them out? God forfend, I do. It's kind of like a train wreck. I just can't pull my eyes away.

Some days, all I do is run from the time I get up, until the time I go to bed. Today, was one of those days.

I got up at 645, did Genny's hair, pestered kids to make sure everyone had their assorted crap -- snacks, water, track clothes, etc., peed, checked email, and returned to bed. I slept til 10. I know that you're saying, but you slept til 10, but I was up til 1AM, so not a big deal.

At 1020, I got in the shower, got dressed and proceeded to spend a lot of time dinking around in the garage looking for the stain for Genny's bed, which I had stripped of its plastic and cardboard. I found the stupid paint brush, but not the stain. I went to the local feed/hardware place and their stains were not cool, so I had brunch. When I got back in the car, LaDawn had called and asked if I'd burned her CD's.

D'oh!

I ran home and started finding files and burned her CD's. Whilest she waited on me, she got Genny to me, so I could run her to the small city and take her to the pediatrician because lately, she's been such a turd, that we think she's either ADHD or sick. I'm guessing sick, though, with my kids you never know. On the way to the pediatrician, I break the fucking mirror on the passenger side of the van because I misjudged a turn and smacked the little reflector thingy. Shit, shit, shit!

Pediatrician and I discuss that the little spot on her ear is not meritorious of antibiotics, but that she's probably suffering from allergies like the rest of us schmucks. I run to drugstore to drop off scripts -- it's going to be at least 40 minutes.

I run to the only hardware store to have the stupid stain I can't find and purchase said stain. I then run to the other end of town to get the stupid decorative pumpkins actually in the box. When I purchased the box initially, I got the display box and the stupid pumpkins were actually ON DISPLAY and not in the damned box. While there, I picked up groceries for family and track team.

Pile groceries and aggravating 5 year old into van, call Chevrolet dealer because I know the stupid mirror is a GM fucking part and drive to pharmacy to get meds. Get meds, drive to dealership to order part and disconnect electronic mirror. Drive home. Get home and get greeted by 12 year old who tells me,"Oh, by the way, Open House is tonight at 6." Knowing child is bad with times, check school website and determine that no, it's at 630PM and that at the current time of 510 PM, I'm going to have to drive to the big city and meet Mike for dinner at Denny's, give him the kids (cuz kids aren't allowed at the Open House) and go to Open House.

Get to Open House and determine that I don't need to meet all of Russell's teachers and get syllabi (which I have already done and received) and lose an hour of my life. Briefly talk to Social Studies teacher regarding Bear's missing assignments, and drive back home.

Get home, tell Mike what Russell needs help with and have him do so.

Check bank account stuff, pay bills, determine (OH SHIT) that I apparently forgot to pay one stupid freakin' bill, cuss a bunch, pay said bill and a couple others. Project budget out to February. Discuss Genny's room decor and ideas with Mike. Discuss Xmas ideas and plans with Mike.

Feel overwhelmed at being unemployed and overwhelmed at getting a job when I'm always so freakin' sick.

Shit my pants a bunch about it and then go to bed.

How was your day?

I'm just feeling kind of so-so lately. When I was taking more of the thyroid, I felt better, but I was kind of worrying because it seemed like a lot and I was up at night. It was also when I was barely able to breathe, so I haven't gone back to trying the same dose while relatively healthy.

Right now, the brushes, native to this state sagebrush and rabbitbrush are in full bloom and basically, everyone feels like shit for about a month and a half. Mike, the healthy one, has a dribbly nose from the stuff.

I feel kind of like a slave to the house. I don't feel like I can leave for much time because otherwise, I have a hard time sleeping with the asthma junk. Tomorrow, I have to stain Genny's bed outside, so I think I might get up and do that early when it's cold and the pollen is going to be frozen, too. I hate cold hands, but I'd rather just get it done. Her current bed is the $100 cheapy canopy we got at a discount furniture store and it keeps falling apart, so I've got to get the new one stained, so we can get it in her room. I'm actually looking forward to cleaning under her bed and rearranging her room to be neat and tidy for her, too.

What she doesn't know, is that I'm going to be dumping out a bunch of the broken happy meal toys, hiding away the cute wooden toys, and finding a low-lying table at a thrift store to paint and then put the dollhouse on. I'm going to remove her old bureau, put an organizing system in her closet, and use the captain's bed to store her clothes. She desperately wanted a bunk bed, but I figured she could be had for one of those chairs that folds out or a twin size fold up futon. I'm going to do a little poking around to see what I can find.

I am getting really good at this home decorating thing. I think it's probably related to all of those times I've fallen asleep while sick during hgtv -- all that stuff is buried in my unconscious mind. If I start knocking out walls, run, m'kay?

After such a productive weekend, today by comparison seemed like a total blowout.

I heard Genny get up around 8 and decided I'd just lay there until she came in. Well, I fell sound asleep until she woke me up at 1030. Bad mommy.

So I got her to LaDawn's by 1130. Then headed up to the big town to have lunch with Mike. After lunch, I made a run at Walmart and then to the school to pick up Russell and take him to yoga. After yoga class, I drove him to the school for cross-country practice, waited for him to finish and then lead his team in stretching. Then I stopped at the pharmacy to pick up meds and then drove his teammate home, picked up Genny, and then came home. I no sooner had walked in the door, emptying the car as I went, then the Schwann's guy came. I was thinking about how much I didn't want to cook, so I bought blackened chicken alfredo, put some brown and serve garlic baguettes in the oven and steamed up some broccoli to toss in the alfredo.

Tonight, I framed and hung two Star Wars posters that I found at Walmart for Russell; one Jedi and one Sith. He enjoyed looking them a lot less than he liked his new Xmen game, but he seemed to appreciate them as much as he could in the face of his new game.

Twelve year olds!

We finally got Russell's room clean and organized. Heck, the whole house is looking pretty good right now. I told Mike tonight that the fact that the house is looking good is really a good sign that I'm actually feeling better.

Russell's room was callthehealthdepartmentholyshit gross.

He did most of the cleaning and got a lot of stuff out, under Mike's auspices, because I was just too damned mad. I know that's stupid and immature in some ways, but I'd been on his ass for a month and he kept making it sound like I was just jerking him around. I finally said that if he didn't have it cleaned up by the time we held his birthday party, I'd send all the boys home by 11. With that fire lit under his butt, he did a pretty good job.

However, I think it's telling that when I went in to organize things today, that I still hauled out over two big bags of trash out. We also found a half-eaten balance bar under his computer desk. I had to take the vacuum around the edges of his room to get all the food and crumbs up. We gave him a computer desk as well as a work desk. We placed the printer paper under his printer and we put his printer some place he cannot easily drop stuff into his printer to mess it up.

We made placards to stick into the handles of his dresser that label what is in each drawer. I still have to make placards for the boxes we put on his shelves to hold various items -- one box holds the magic the gathering cards, one box holds pokemon cards, another holds yu-gi-oh cards, and others hold bey blades stuff, and assorted crap that he didn't want to part with, but that kind of ends up in a nameless pile. I may further organize that tomorrow for him. I'll see how inspired I get. I'd really like to sew and I'd really like to bake and can a little.

At this point, I can actually identify what is under his bed and I removed all the food crumbs and wrappers.

I decorated for him. I put up the Bobafet mask and the Bobafet ray gun. I put up his Chinese hats and coins. I put up his rocks on a placard. I put up pictures of him and his best friend. I put up a picture of the much-mourned Cowboy kitty and one of the still kicking Kitty Girl because he said he wanted to keep it and because he wanted to be able to look at it.

It's hard being so connected to this child sometimes. Today, was not one of those times.

I could feel him floating every time he came into his room. At one point, he came in to work on his computer versus ours, while I was in there sorting things, and there was a pile of stuff in the room. I could tell, he felt overwhelmed by it. Then as he came in later, I could feel him, just glancing around like he couldn't believe it was his. When I moved his TV, so he could see it from bed, he was so happy.

When I stripped his bed, made his bed with clean sheets, and turned down his bed, and showed him it, he said,"Wow, how warm and cozy!"

I asked him, "How does it feel when you come in here now?" He said,"It's so amazing. I feel like I can concentrate and get stuff done."

I smiled and said,"What do you think will happen, if you let it go?" He said,"I will be grounded until I'm 18?"

I said,"More like til you're dead."