Saturday, February 28, 2009

I have so little time I can call my own any more.

I get a couple hours each weeknight before I have to hit the hay and everyone seems to urgently and frenziedly need me at that time. Russell even cuddles now, which if you know Russell, is soooo unusual.

The cat is um...fucking ridiculous? She doesn't leave me alone at night. Last night, I was trying to cuddle with Mike and we finally just tossed her out of the room because she wouldn't let up.

I've felt sad several times when Genny's come home and her hair's a mess from Mike's poor hairdressing skills. Thursday night, I brushed her hair out and put it in curlers, just so when she woke up, she'd have pretty hair that her dad couldn't mess up. It still looked cute when she came home, so I'm going to try that again.

Yesterday, I went to Michael's (the craft store) and they had a bargain bin of beads and charms, so I spent too much. So far, I've made a set of copper chile earrings, a set of stars and moons copper earrings, a set of coffee pot earrings, repaired two old earrings, and made a single pair of brass lace heart earrings.

I've got a favorite set of earrings and a necklace which need repairs, so I am looking them over to figure out how to proceed without damaging them in the repair process. It's an interesting assortment of handpainted animals interspersed with painted wooden and glass beads of varying sizes. The necklace is kind of a sunburst pattern and I have a single earring with three different animals hanging off of it. Two of the animals look similar, so I am considering taking those two strands and making a pair of earrings out of them and then placing the third strand aside in the bead bin for later repairs. I only have a single wooden anchor bead, so I may change the anchor bead to something else similar, in keeping with the feel of the set.

Otherwise, I am anticipating a week of stormy weather to drive to and from work in. Mike leaves for an interview on Wednesday for a job that is decidedly second choice -- like a job that he would enjoy, but that would not entail allowing us to keep our home, but that we could survive on. I may or may not be able to change locations and work for my company near him. If I can't keep my job, then he will probably bargain for them to pay him on the lower end of the range and to pay his cobra from his old job, as they are offering no benefits. With Obama's changes to COBRA, it would only be $500/month, so they may be willing. I am not discussing a thing with my company until they offer him a job, though.

He had another interview which seemed to go very well and it would pay at least 2x more, but would involved a move out of state to a very pricey area. We haven't heard about a second interview, so we'll see what happens.

Monday, February 23, 2009

I keep thinking that if tired were a color it would be gray. And then I think about what I know about auras and I think that white is pure and clean and that black is poison and wonder what that means about my sense of my life as the color gray.

I think all the rain and snow and clouds makes me feel gray, too. I drove up this weird dirt road with Mike the other day because he resented me being on the phone on the way home from town. So I took him up the hill a piece and we watched it storm on the Sierras and watched the rednecks crisscrossing their big-tired rigs and ATV's across the desert and we talked and held hands. Then we drove home and unloaded the groceries.

Monday, February 16, 2009

I keep expecting my knees to be worse, but they're not.

I seem to have enough balance between walking and sitting with my job and my knees are about the least agonizing they've been in a while. I'm not even taking the glucosamine, which normally, I can't hardly stand to be without.

I did buy some good shoes to alternate with my eccos, but I'm not hardly wearing the eccos because I want to dress up. It makes me feel better and more formal and professional, which comes across in my voice at work. No, I will not start wearing makeup, but I am finding the clothes make a difference. Come summer with the heat of the season, I may change my mind about how formal I want to be, but for right now, it's putting me in a good mindset.

I'm making fewer mistakes overall, which is nice, too.

They keep threatening we're going to get lots and lots of snow, but so far it's been pretty disappointing. On the plus side, the mountains are getting a lot and that's where the bulk of our water table comes from. We're heading into week two of snow/rain showers throughout the week.

I'm very disgusted we're not getting more here. I like the snow and it happens so infrequently. I know I should be careful what I wish for, but I really do like it. And I know it poses all kinds of hazards and all, but it's so unbelievably beautiful and I still treasure a morning of pristine snow-covered landscape. Like the autumn in the New England, I miss winter, too. Winters here often threaten to be like New England winters, but usually fall far short, but I wait for those surprising storms that fulfill the dream of my memory.

Friday, February 13, 2009

If bones could be tired to their bones, my bones' bones would be exhausted.

Valentine's day is just kind of fun for me. I bought a few things for the kids. I got G-bug a webkins, which I'd never heard of. When I heard about it, I knew it was a Genny kind of thing. I got Russell a Valentine's mouse. I got Mike a cute little frame and I'm going to have Genny take pictures of me and then I'll pick the nicest one and put it in there for him. I also got Genny and I matching flower pens that fit in a pot.

Work sucks. Nuff said.

Mike rocks. He gets up every morning, gets me breakfast and coffee, and helps me with lunch. He's doing all the errands and we plan meals for the week on weekends.

He's applying for work. He's looking into how to get coursework. He's a great human.

I wish I had more energy and time to have sex with him is all. :D

Friday, February 06, 2009

This morning was less painful and I could tell that I'd turned the infection corner, but I'm still really congested and that's sliming up my lungs. I get wheezy at night and the doc and I discussed how I might end up on steroids and insulin by the end of the weekend.

I sigh in the general direction of the needle box. Dear Needle Box, I'd flip you a bird, but I'm only up to lifting this single feather...

As I was answering the phones at work, customers were commenting on how much like crap I sounded like and were wishing me a speedy recovery and the like. It was really quite sweet.

I want to go do fun stuff with the kids, but I need to curl up in bed and hug the pillow and kitty cat. I did purchase some sledding stuff, so maybe we'll hit that up in the mountains from here, hopefully, on Sunday, after I've had a day to lay around like a slug.

In other news, Mike and I had a chat today.

I basically said he needs to get a wolf job (to keep the lupine critters from the door) and bone up on his programming. He blew yet another interview and with his experience, he shouldn't be doing that. We looked around for advanced computer programming coursework, but it was all in these weird seminar type things, so we both felt it was better for him to pick it up out of a book everyone was talking about in his research and start writing his own code to do stuff. He started researching the stuff he didn't know and that's a good start, I think.

He has had 3 months to get employed with his dream job or something resembling it, but is up the creek with a tight economy. I told him to get a bill payer. He agreed.

It blows, but it's a start.

Thursday, February 05, 2009

Despite my stupid flu shot, I've got the flu and bad. Even my finger, toes, and ankles joints are hurting.

I slept for a couple hours and now, I'm up because the joint pain woke me up. I took some tylenol, though I really wanted some doggone vicodan. I finally got celebrex today, so my knee doesn't make me want to curl up in a ball and die. I've been sporadically taking vicodan over the past week to get through and I always feel wiggy about taking anything other than one at night because I've often been taking 2 at night and then one in the morning this past week. I understand how people do get addicted to these things because it's such a relief not to feel the pain even for a few hours.

Fortunately, 3 vicodan in one day does not make me a hardcore addict and it buys me enough relief to be functional without celebrex. Thankfully, I'm on celebrex again, though, so I'm setting aside my foray into vicodan for just regular tylenol and I doubled up on my celebrex to get some of the swelling down.

Swelling you say? Yeah. I'm so darned graceful, I tell you what! I had the coordination and misfortune to take a bad slip in the tub. A straw from one of Genny's juice things had fallen in the tub from the trash can and I didn't see it and my foot hit that thing and went sliding. I grabbed for the stupid curtain rod and screeched in pain which got Mike flying out of bed to help me at 445 am. My knee has been swollen and horrible all day.

Add that to the flu pain and I'm a pain-ridden wreck. I'm talking to my doctor about that tomorrow. Feh.