So I haven't posted much. I guess you all have noticed that,

I've just been busy dealing with that we have to redig our leach field, but it's going to be a pain in the ass and we're broke. We also have taxes due, which we didn't know that our previous escrow account on didn't pay all of.

And the bills. Geez, Louise, the bills.

And I can't work. My knee is pretty limiting. I can't do a lot of up and down. I can't be on my feet a bunch, so I'm pursuing vocational rehabilitation to take that into account in my career choice. I also contacted my university advisor and asked for advice. And while some day, my knee might get lots better, especially if I keep losing weight, I have a long way to go to lose all the weight I should.

I'm working hard in physical therapy and I'm swimming at least one day a week and I'm losing weight. I'm getting yard work done. I pruned trees that I've been wanting to prune forever, all by myself like a big girl. :) I'm starting to be able to do laundry, though I can only usually tolerate doing a load or two and then climbing up and down the cement steps just hurts too much.

I'm starting to get back to cooking meals. I know that sounds bizarre, but it's really pretty cool.

My biggest progress of late has been that I can bicycle all the way around on a stationary bike with just hiking up my hip a little each time. I still can't fully straighten my leg. The other day, after stretching it, my therapist put her hand under my knee and said, "Ok, push your knee down as hard as you can." I said through gritted teeth,"I am!"

Little bits of progress. It's not easy for an impatient person like me, but it is progress.

Things suddenly are improving. Today, I went without pain pills all day. Then we had to go shopping tonight and despite that I was in a wheelie cart, I really felt pretty wracked when I got home. I took two pills. Then, woke up and took another one. I'm sitting here now at this hour, because I'm still hurting and just can't sleep because it hurts like hell and my calf is spasming.

I didn't sleep well last night either. I slept a long time, but no dreams -- so no REM and no real rest. My cpap needs adjustment bad. I've got an appointment with the pulmonologist for about 7 hours from now, but that's just to get permission to get a sleep study. If I can tolerate sleeping on my side instead of my back, I do better with the machine, but right now, my sore knee makes that difficult at times. I can do it for 1-2 hour spits, but then I need to get on my back and stick a pillow under my knee, and then my mask leaks and I tend to snore through it because I'm on my back and I need more pressure for the cpap. *sigh*

I spoke to LaDawn today about keeping Genny home with me a few mornings a week. I really enjoyed having her so much last week, that I want to do that again. We're also broke. I like kids at this age and I really like her. She's a sweet kind person and I like that we can hang out. I like that we can read together. I'd like to buy her a kiddie sewing machine and teach her to sew. I wouldn't even mind doing something like making shorts together -- they'd be simple and she'd see the result quickly and she could basically put together clothes for herself for summer. And my dear buttless child, could actually have stuff that didn't present plumber butt, when she bends over.

I think that third percocet finally kicked in a bit. I'm going to try sleeping again.