I made about 8 pints of raspberry jam tonight and about the same last night in raspberry-blueberry jam. I used the half cup and cup jars because they're pretty and because they force us to use it in smaller portions.

I also made about 5 pints of raspberry freezer jam.

YUM!

I'm also facing the insomnia ogre. My back is totally killing me right now. I have been sitting there for an hour trying to snooze and I'm butt tired, but my back is killing me. I did my yoga and that helped, but my shoulders and low back are excrutiating. I know it's from the jamming -- standing and turning at the counter for long periods. And sitting on the bench at the table to make freezer jam.

I can't take ibuprofen, I can't find the tylenol, so the only painkiller that's legal is percocet, so I took one of those. Now, I wait. Hopefully, it'll kick in pretty soon and I can sleep. I have to take Bear to physical therapy at the crack of dawn and boy, I sooooo do not wanna. I said I'd take the kids to the waterpark where we got the season pass tomorrow and I don't think I'm going to be functioning if I have to do both.

Today, I did my pre-op stuff for the tonsillectomy. I'm so ambivalent about this surgery now.

I hadn't been feeling scared until today, but now I'm scared. I'm scared I won't heal fast and it'll be forever again before I can get up and do stuff. I'm scared about how to eat as a diabetic after the surgery. Usually, they tell you to eat ice cream and popsicles. I don't know that I can realistically do that. Although, even for a couple days it'd be worth the high sugars to just eat all the Ben and Jerry's that I can find.

I am excited about the prospect of breathing. My tonsils are so big that I have just been used to how much room they take up in my throat. But there are times when I really notice them. I can't hold both arms over my head with my elbows next to my ears because my tonsils block my airway. I hadn't put it together until just now that that was what it was, but there it is. I'm looking forward to maybe not needing the cpap machine.

I mean, wouldn't it be cool to just fall asleep on the couch, for example, and not have to get up and put on my mask in bed on a lazy afternoon?

I'm scared that I won't get freedom from my cpap, however, too. I'm worried about the kids. I'm bummed I can't do stuff with Russell right away after school gets out, but I am really looking forward to the opportunity to do stuff later. Blah, blah, blah.

The percocet just started traveling in my bloodstream. It's sort of like waiting for the caffeine to kick in and in my case, it's just waiting for the pain to ebb away. Now, I feel like less of an old lady and more like a spring chicken. A tired spring chicken.

Bock, Bock. Snore.