I'm finally going to have knee surgery -- next Wednesday. Because of that, I am officially off the anti-inflammatory and will be taking vicodan from noon to midnight daily until the surgery. I was promised more serious pain stuff after the surgery. There's good and bad to that. The good is the lack of pain. The bad is the serious drug thing and also the drug masks the pain, so that I can inadvertently do too much. I'm going to have to be careful as hell and use the crutches and wheelchair when I get it.

Tomorrow, I get my wheelchair. The thing that shocked me about the wheelchair is that I am getting one paid for because the expectation is that I may need it for time to come because of the apparent severity of the arthritis in my knee. If we find that after the surgery that I am still dependent on the wheelchair, we're going to have to sell the house, because it's multi-level. We have a sunken livingroom and the rest of the house -- bedrooms and bathroom on one end and kitchen on the other, are up steps. That prospect plain breaks my heart. I know something better will come along and all that crap, but I don't want better or different, I love this house. Buying it was like this dream come true. Of course, in another year or two, it'll be worth twice what we paid for it, so getting a different house won't be impossible, but I don't think we'll be able to get the land that we have, too, though with a messed up knee, land may be less of an option anyhow.

With that in mind, I'm thinking I might see about getting big tree planters to put the two remaining nectarines in, so if we have to move, we can take them with us. Mostly, it scares me a lot.

The surgery scares me, too. They are all freaked out about what to do about my apnea, and basically, I said that I can bring the machine with me and they can titrate what they have to into the mask. The nurse asked why they would do that and I said,"Because without the machine, my oxygen levels drop to below 88% and that's a bad thing. Giving me oxygen will not make me breathe it." Duh. Also, they are scheduling me because of a cancellation at 1245 and I can't eat 8 hours prior to the surgery, so I am going to have to get up at 4AM and eat a sandwich and take my thyroid meds, so my sugars don't drop out. I may blow off my meds the night before to keep my sugars up enough and because they'll probably give me a glucose/insulin drip IV.

The thing that scares me most about the surgery is that when they are all done, there may be no difference between the before and after or minimal difference. That would be the worst outcome possible.

Of course, the best thing is if I felt pretty good, then I could swimming my butt off at the local water park with the kids all summer. Someone suggested a once a week thing. I'm thinking more along the lines of a several times a week thing. I want my damned money's worth and I want to swim and exercise. Lazy River and Wave Pool, here I come! I figure, even if I feel like crap, I can swim and feel better.

I've been remembering as I swim, even now, how much I enjoy it. I really am a warm water swimmer though -- I hate 70 degree water. I don't even want to contend with it, if it isn't 85 or above, unless the air temperature is really warm, then I like cooler water, obviously, but this time of year, with the frost still on the air, I want warm water. It feels like an ill-afforded luxury that I relish.

Well, I've gotta go cover several loaves of banana nut chocolate chip bread and muffins and go to bed. (I'm sending some to LaDawn and taking some with me to Genny's dance class tomorrow to give them to Mel.)

My knee got so swollen today that snug pants were hurting and I got into my big comfy jammies. Now, I'd like to put them to good use because I won't be doing the tango in them particularly soon.