Well, Mike and I tackled the yards. I did the front and he did the back.

He wrestled with several large sage brushes and quail berry bushes and won. He got the sprinkler system working, cuz it were broke, and carefully edged around the cement curbing in the back. (It came with the house -- you know *I* would never put up chainlink fencing and cement curbing, c'mon now!)

I got the front area cleaned up. I put plants in pots, transplanted a few things. I actually finally have my annuals in and put peppers in several pots, to keep them out of the mouths of chickens, rabbits, and quails. Furry, feathery little bastards! I put my rocking chair on the porch, so I can watch the sun set, the stars rise, and survey my little piece of heaven on earth. Well, that and I'm old and creaky.

I've got to get Mike to get the tarp down, so I can set up plants, so he knows where the sprinklers will go. Hopefully, that will happen tonight, so all I have to do tomorrow is drop the plants and walking stones on the tarp, so when the rock truck comes Wednesday, I will simply be raking rock around my pretties.

Overall, I was very happy yesterday to get the plants in, the trash out, and generally make my space pretty. I've been feeling like crud for so long, that I guess it was important to have one place feel pretty and in turn, feel pretty myself.

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Today, we go to the adoption lawyer. There's a lot of stuff to figure out and determine. For example, I've never listed Bear's biological father anywhere, not even the birth certificate. When I was 5 months pregnant, I went to court, wearing a black maternity dress, to try to make it look like I was just fat, not pregnant, to file a restraining order against him because he was taking swings at me. I never mentioned that I was pregnant in the restraining order, and the judge gave me the full three years available. I don't know if he did that because he could tell I was pregnant or because I wrote a persuasive case for getting the order. But I was very careful.

The thing is, if we file abandonment charges against an unknown dad, then Bear will never have to deal with the guy, unless he chooses to. Right now, he is adamant that he does not want to meet the guy. I've been truthful with him over time. About a year ago, he asked why we didn't get along and I truthfully told him that the guy had been taking swings at me when I was pregnant. Bear was horrified.

I've told Bear that when he is older, he may have some kind of life crisis and decide that it's important to him to find his father, but that I really want to let that be his choice.

We talk to the lawyer today. We find out if she's one of those rare breed of lawyers with scruples, or if she'll work with our desire to protect and keep Bear's life stable and make the choice to find his father his own. My hope is that she'll be more interested in what's good for my little bear than what's completely and perfectly honest.