I know it is probably hard to believe, but I'm getting a tonsillectomy because I have tonsils that are large enough to be named. I figure, what the hell? My boobs are named, so why not my tonsils? My tonsils are almost as big, so it only seems fair.

The belief is that it will end my years of bronchial infections and the vicious cycle of illness, where I get sick as shit, take prednisone and insulin, and then gain any weight I might have lost recently. It might also actually make my apnea better and then I'd like feel better and stuff and exercise more and then my ass would shrink. That's my theory anyhow.

The other option is that my ass would expand, blot out the sun, and then we all would die, making the whole ass size thing a moot point.

The best thing is that I managed to justify scheduling it when my mother in law is visiting. I won't be able to talk with her without enormous pain, so therefore, I won't have to contend with her other than in polite nods, unless she decides to schedule her visit here when I am actually available. Oh, Lord fucking forfend.

Hey, I've had a couple percocet because I walked around too damned much today without my crutches. I'm thinking I'm pretty funny when I take percocet. It is possible that I am just entertaining myself, but it is my blog, so I can do that.