I am brain dead.

I shouldn't be. I've been doing my yoga. I've been trying to do stuff in the house, but I'm really tired. I keep finding that no matter how much sleep I get, I still want to sleep my life away, lately. I know it's a function of putting energy into healing, but I wish I could get better at something other than lying about.

I wish the healing could be massively accelerated, so I could go wild and garden like a crazed fool, for example. Patience is just not my virtue.

I have watched more reruns than any human being has a right to. For example, I think I've seen every MacGyver episode ever produced three times over. I have also seen every X-Files episode, three times over.

I have seen way too many fashion police shows.

There's one called "How do I look?" Where some poor person's family and friends gang up on them and tell them they dress like shit. Then said family/friends goes through the poor fool's closet and throw out their clothes and then buy them three sets of three sets of clothes, with a new hair and make up look included. Then the besotten person picks one wardrobe and one look that they like of the bunch and then come out to everyone in their new get up.

The problem is that I think that the fundamental premise of the show is just plain mean and catty. It's not like the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy show, where a guy is trying to impress a girl or something. It's like being in high school and having people rag on ya for how you look. I saw one episode where the woman was downright hostile about having her clothes removed from her and her hair colored and cut. I guess, if a person is feeling that hostile, that maybe they should choose not to do the show on them. Yeesh!

One has the impression that the Queer Eye show is much more the idea of the guy involved and that he's willing to consider the change. The other one seems to inflict the change on someone else.

Change causes upset. I guess I don't understand the point of purposely upsetting someone, even if one's intentions are good, especially in the name of fashion. It screams the kind of cruel manipulation that many of us suffered -- where our mothers have dressed us and ignored our requests.

I sometimes catching myself doing that with Genny. I give her suggestions. I have her pick out a pair of pants that she'd like to wear and then I say, "Okay, go find a shirt that matches with that." This morning, she pouted at me about wearing overalls. It was just what I had pulled out of a basket because she asked me for help finding pants. She had selected a skort -- it was snowing outside, so I told her she probably wanted pants because it was really cold. She said she couldn't find them, so I found the overalls for her.

I don't want do to that to her. I want her to feel like she can pick out her own clothes. When we went to Childrens Place this weekend to exchange the way too big clothes that the MIL sent, I had her pick her colors and designs, which she did happily. When I was a kid, my mom never let me go shop with her and pick my clothes. And frankly, as much as I HATE doing it with my kids, I take them shopping with me and let them pick out what they like to wear themselves and I make suggestions to try to go along with those selections.

I don't know if I'm very good at it. My mother is such a control freak that the example I'm working from is poor, I guess.

I may just need to kill my television.