Today felt like Tahiti, which is good for tomorrow it cools off again.

Russell lost his damned winter coat somewhere and I'm fit to be tied because it was supposed to get him through the rest of the season. There are several K-Marts going out of business, but I didn't find any winter coats at them. I found one cute spring/fall coat for Genny and a buttload of clothes for her. I found some clothes for Russell, but not tons. I found a lot of clothes for me that would work for a more professional look for me until I've finished losing my winter weight to fit into all my other stuff. I'm almost there on the weight, but not quite on a couple outfits. Soon, though, soon.

Russell has been driving me crazy -- medication changes have been really rugged. I was ready to check one of us in last Friday, so I wouldn't bloody my floor with him.

On Friday, I wrote:

Being a parent of an ADHD kid is a lot of work even on a good day, but with
the upcoming move, Russell has become intolerable. That hour every morning
between him having no meds and having the meds kick in is a brutal death
defying (because I want to kill him) experiment every morning and it's just
been getting worse lately.

This morning he started screaming, talking back and pounding walls and
floors, and I simply wanted to tie him up in shipping tape, put an address
tag to Alaska on him, set him by the mail box, and put the flag up. We had
simply asked him to get up and get dressed. *sigh*

Mike and I had to ground him -- for two weeks -- because he continued to
scream and tantrum. When he was 4 or 5, this wasn't that big a deal, but
now that he's 9 almost 10, it's hideous. Mike started to feel guilty and
wanted to know if I thought it was too much. I told him, that no,
regardless of his medication, Russell still needs to be held responsible for
his behavior. If he decided to pound a hole in a wall as an adult, he'd be
responsible for it, the fact that he's too young to put the hole in a wall,
doesn't mean he shouldn't be held accountable for his behavior.

I can get him a medication that's new that would be 24 hour and I had passed
on it, frankly, because the doctor said it would still leave some of his
attention issues swaying in the wind. Russell's grades are really important
to him and he was adamant he did not want to change his meds while he was in
school at the doctor's. Admittedly, without the ability to pay attention,
he's well nigh impossible to get through schoolwork and other things, but to
have a peaceful morning -- just once -- would be worth a couple F's to me.

Tonight, his meds wore off faster than they did yesterday, so we had him in
full glory screaming at the top of his lungs in the car because he didn't
get yu-gi-oh cards for his report card grades. (He gets the cards for all
the A & B grades leading up to his report card grades and I had told him
that I would give him a $50 gift certificate to buy something he really
wanted, if he pulled his grades over a 3.0, which he did not.) While out,
we had purchased cards for a friend's birthday gift, for a party he is
supposed to attend tomorrow and he wanted to open the multi-pack to take out
cards for himself. We told him that the cards were a gift for his friend
and that report card grades were not grades that we used for yu-gi-oh cards
because we'd already "paid" for them. Because he did not get what he
wanted, he then threatened that he would get crappy grades and/or run away.
(Don't let the door hit your butt on your way out!) We offered to let him
stay home from the party and he got strangely silent.

What was worse is that when he said he was going to run away, right now, I
am filled with so much anger and frustration, I'd like to pack his doggone
bags.

When we got home, there was even more horrible drama, so I just sent him to
bed early, mostly for his own protection.

I keep wondering if I am doing this right? I know that he's classified as
severe ADHD, but is this all I have to look forward to? More and different
drugs and more severe and difficult behavior? I just keep telling myself
that if I couldn't do it, God wouldn't be asking me to.

If tomorrow even vaguely comes close to this, I'm going to the mental ward
and checking one of us in.

This morning, we tried something new. At 7AM, a half hour before he's required to get up, Mike brought him his meds. At 730, he got up and we had a blissful, quiet morning. I don't think his evening dose is right because he's still just unable to sit still, concentrate, etc. I don't want him up all night, either, though, so it's a rock and hard place kind of thing.

I'm just tired to my bones. I know I love him right now because no other person on earth would take this shit.