My darling boy was getting too much medication, apparently, so we are backing off his ritalin a bit and adding in some strattera, which was a prozac knockoff that didn't work for most folks. Then they discovered that it worked in ADHD people. Unfortunately, it does little for focus, but does help behavioral issues wonderfully. My doctor says that a combo of the two is believed to be the future of ADHD meds. Oh, yay. More drugs.

I really wish I could just take him off the meds and have him be something other than a raging psycho. Because when he doesn't take the meds, that's what he is. And mind you, I love him and think he's an adorable little boy with gorgeous big brown eyes, and about the smartest kid on the planet, but I know what he's like when he doesn't take his meds, and honestly, you wouldn't know him when he's without meds.

I keep trying to tell myself that I could weather it through...just take him off the meds and use alternative means, but it would mean a lot of suffering for all of us. I finally came to the conclusion that medication sometimes is to reduce suffering. I remember back when he was grounded all the time in the days before meds. And I wasn't mean and I didn't spank him, but I had to do something, so he lost privileges. Now, he gets grounded only for a day at a time once in a great while -- not the months and months that it used to be. In order to take him off meds, I'd have to take away things he likes: the TV, the Gameboy, the computer, and movies. I don't want to take away things he likes and cares about. He likes how he is in control when he takes the meds. Sometimes he thinks the meds are what make him. I keep explaining that they are just a tool for him to use to figure out the person he would like to become.

He likes that idea. Honestly, so do I.