I've never been a stay-at-home (SAH) mom before. I've always worked. While I've worked at home in the past year or two, it's not the same because I still have someone there watching and playing with the kids while I do my work.

I've been feeling really stressed out because I simply don't know what to do with the kids. It's kind of like one big weekend all the time. I get to sleep in with them and we snuggle and giggle in bed, make and eat breakfast together and then what? On the weekends, Mike and I are cleaning, washing, and doing house stuff one day, typically, and then the other, we screw around, watch TV, go out to a movie, or play miniature golf or something. I am having a hard time figuring out how I am supposed to get house stuff done, and still keep track of kids, without them being bored senseless in the process somewhere.

I had all of these dreams of doing a load of laundry every day, but as usual, I've got a basket of folded, but not put away stuff sitting in my room and barrels upon barrels out in the garage to get done.

I feel inept at this whole SAH thing. Russell is delighted and he loves to have the time with me, even if he has been fighting me over every little stinking damned thing -- med transitions suck. Today, after I'd come >< close to strangling him, I made him go into his room, lay on his bed and close his eyes for "at least one hour." 1.5 hours later, he came out and was as nice as pie to me. I guess I called it.

Part of the problem today is that I had to get Russell up to town for a haircut and a dentist appointment, so I got out of the house without my meds and that just made for a lot more foggybrainedness than perhaps was necessary.

Tomorrow, I start walking with the kids every day. It'll be good for all of us.