I'm preparing for surgery!

I baked 7 pans of food over the weekend, which will amount to two weeks of stuff with leftovers.

The house is pretty clean. The family plan is to work on it all week and clean it up, so we can play all weekend, as the last hurrah before I go in.

Mike arranged the fridge and microwave in here for me. I think when i saw that, I realized...wow...6 more days....

However, I think I had some honey do list power because the husband did a Stupid Man trick. Stupid Man tricks are considerably different than Stupid Pet tricks because the latter are actually funny. Stupid Man tricks are not.

We had to drive to the small city and drop off a payment. So we told the kids that we'd get ice cream while we were there.

So we're in the line at Baskin Robbins. And we spied the one person I am sure broke his damn funny bone. He never smiles, never smirks, never says please or thank you. He's like the Antichrist of Customer Service aka the No Humor Man. I say,"Oh, look, it's the No Humor Man."

Stupid Man says,"And the chick who always wears the short skirt isn't here tonight. I always enjoy watching her bend over to get the ice cream."

Stupid Man becomes Dead Man.

First, Dead Man tries to justify it by saying something about that I had said something about Olympian speedskaters having coconut cracking thighs, which honestly, wasn't a drool comment, but more of a holy cow look at the size of the thighs on those people. Then he brings up how Sarah and I drool over Elvis. Justification is a Stupid Man secondary trick.

Very tricksy. Very Stupid. Very Dead Man.

Dead Man apologizes, while Wife cries bitterly because wife is feeling horribly insecure from recent weight gain from all the health problems and for having to demand so much from Dead Man, previously known as Stupid Man, previously known as Beloved Husband.

However Dead Man walking does have the common sense to work on that honey do list, when Wife wiping tears off face, says,"Would you please bring in the microwave from the back of the car?" He completely rearranged the bedroom, dusting and cleaning and putting away things...wait for it.....wait for it....without being prompted. The. World. May. End.

Dead Man walking thinks he should squeeze Wife's shoulder. Wife says,"Please don't touch me right now. I love you, but I am angry and while I'll be done being angry eventually, right now, I need you to leave me the fuck alone."

Eventually Dead Man reverts to Beloved Husband, and while Wife still feels hurt, her comment to Beloved Husband aka Stupid Man aka Dead Man was,"Looking ain't free, if you're wife is present." Beloved Husband says,"Point taken."

Wife adds,"Me admiring Elvis doesn't count, by the way, because the man is dead!" Beloved Husband agrees and smiles, which is what he should have done in the first place.

The epilogue of any good Stupid Man trick, however, is that Wife gets to take her pound of flesh by asking him to knock off a few more things from that honey do list.

The bottomline? It still hurts. I'll process it and it'll get better, but that was painful on a number of levels. Mike's done what he should to end the trick -- he said he was sorry, he showed he was sorry. Now, I just have to finish processing it.

I'm feeling intermittently rather vicious about the whole thing, which I am managing by giving him flak for admiring underage flesh, which just feels good.

Revenge isn't nice, but it helps.

I should be over it in a day or two.