Why at 4AM am I here typing?

I've got bronchitis. Bear and I have been sick since the weekend and I woke myself up coughing. The room is hotter than hell from running the vaporizer and I'm worrying about the Bear.

I think his meds are fucked. I called his psych yesterday about it because he's a disorganized mess and freaking me out. About a month ago, he cleaned his room really well -- spotlessly, and it's now completely "call the health department" trashed. It looks like he poured goldfish under his bed and there's snack wrappers and half eaten food. Much of it fell into boxes stored under his bed, which are now full of filthy dirty clothes. His closet, which holds his dresser, looks like it's vomiting clothing. What's worse is that in order to walk in his room, you have to wear shoes or risk cutting your feet. As a diabetic, I kid you not.

I looked at him and said that I simply don't understand how he can function. He admitted that indeed he cannot. Hell, I can't function with that next door.

I think we managed to freak him out about the food because we explained to him that mice are attracted to that kind of filth, so as he was shaking the food off the clothes to put the clothes in a basket to be washed, he was freaking out about finding vermin. I now understand why there was a fucking mouse nesting in my closet. I had scoured my room looking for the food that attracted it. Not. My. Room.

Shudder.

What's worse is that his personal hygiene is really awful. You have to stay on top of him to make sure he:

1. Showers


2. Actually shampoos his hair


3. Actually washes his face


4. Actually puts on clean clothes

Last night, we talked to him at length about him simply washing his hands and face after each meal and every time he eats at school because he's constantly walking around with a messy face. We explained that while we'd expect that of someone substantially younger that we would hate for someone to make fun of him for that at school. He asked, "Why doesn't anyone say anything?" Mike told him about a kid that smelled like poop when he was in school -- he said, "No one felt comfortable telling him something like that, particularly teasing him about it."

You could tell that that had sunk in -- being compared to the poopy kid. I also told him that I had emailed the school nurse. Part of it is that he has a zit the size of a small country on his chin -- and if he actually washed his chin that he might not have it. I know some of this kind of stuff can be par for the course in the transition from kid to teen, but GROSS! I'm so close to calling the Regional Center to get help.

We've also been discussing with him stuff like, how to eat a sandwich. Otherwise, he kind of shoves it into his face all at once. It is the most appalling means of eating I've ever seen. I think it's fairly new or that maybe he was so young that we didn't notice before, so we've been teaching him to eat from side to side on a sandwich or burrito or burger. It's completely freaky. LaDawn mentioned it after going to McDonalds with him, after I said something about it. I think it's fairly new, but maybe it's just that he was so young that it wasn't a big deal, but it's freaking me out now.

It's all this and more that is making us worry over his meds. I hope things improve. This is the grossest phase he's ever gone through, that's for sure.