The Bear had a rough day this week.

He was threatening to run away and screeching at me and the whole time, I kept thinking,"Is he suicidal again?" My heart broke a little more.

I called the police. I called the regional center who has his ISP and after not finding either his counselor or his case manager, I called the emergency number. The police calmed him down. Having the policemen talk to him seemed to make him realize I am not screwing around and that I take him and his threats quite seriously and that the alternatives they could offer were less savory.

While the police were here, I secured a safety plan of a sort from him -- no leaving the property and show up on time at 630PM for his in-home counseling appointment.

While I made follow up calls and got callbacks, the kid wouldn't leave the livingroom until I sent him away. Then, I had an epiphany. He needs reassurance because he just lost it. While I take it for granted that I love him, he needs a reminder. He needs to know I love him and forgive him. Just like the old cat upstairs. He needs a hug and assurance that he's still "The Prince" as Fares used to call him -- my prince.

After the calls, I had him come talk to me and I told him all those things -- I love you, I forgive you, need a hug? He smiled and laughed all afternoon.

Two hours later when his new meds were given, he was back to himself and apologetic and regretful, somewhat, but I let him know it was done and I'd let it go, so he should. More smiles, more laughter. Even the counselor was impressed at the close-knit nature of our family and the love and the laughter.

In the counseling, he realized for the first time, I think, the impact his behavior had on his little sister and was upset by it. I was glad he saw the fallout. We reminded him that that was a large part of why she went to my parents. He got a crestfallen look -- it was the first time I think that that had made an impact on him.

He had a few things to do out of counseling.

I need a vacation.

I would like to dye my hair fully gray, so when the scantily clad cabana boys go through and I flirt with them, we will both know they are safe. I will drink my cold blended drinks in bliss in the shade of a beautiful palm and keep Mike's towel as sand free as I can...

In the mean time, Mike and I are going to load my starbucks card, so we can date once a week at Starbucks, even when we don't have money.

We're discussing how to file bankruptcy at the moment. I have a job interview for a retail job.

We're hanging in.