It's day 4 in Winter Wonderland and it's the first day it hasn't snowed. There's blue sky as far as the eye can see, but it's colder than a witch's tit. (I would know, I have those.)

The icicles on the eaves are not melting. The snow is bright and shiny.

Mel and Dan are going to come tonight and play games with us. We didn't know they were coming til this morning. Mel was going to call, but she forgot. Now, I have to clean the house like a banshee on crack.

Ever seen a fat woman move fast? There's a lot of sweat involved. That's all I know.