Working in the Coal Mines...Going Downtown

I decided I was going to start work again on Thursday. So I called my favorite school and she asked me to work Thursday and Friday and then wanted to know if I'd work tomorrow. I hesitated, but I said, sure. I said, "If I go limping home tomorrow night, we'll know it was a bad idea," and she laughed.

I've bought lots of dresses because I can't stand having anything touch or put pressure on my mid-section. I pull them on, my stomach starts to heave, and I yank them off before I yack like a sorority girl on party night.

I had looked at Lane Bryant, but I swear that store never has decent dresses. They always have jeans, shirts, dress pants, skirts, and blouses, but never decent dresses. They're either dress like a whore dresses or here, have a flour sack to wear kinds of dresses. I had tried on what they had and good God, I don't know what woman would look good in those. And damn, if most of the same old dresses have lingered on that rack for the past month.

I went online to Catherine's and found that they had really nice dresses that fit my style and needs. I kind of need long and sweeping dresses because I run around the classroom like a Football Coach on IV caffeine and something tight and conservative won't do. They had a couple like that and a couple more conservative shirt dresses with fuller skirt bottoms. I also bought some stuff on catalog. I also bought a full slip.

In 80+ degrees fahrenheit, double layers sucks (especially when one is your polyester slip), but as a teacher, you're not allowed to give kids a peep show and there's no way in hell I can stand a half slip touching anywhere along my mid-section. I also wasn't really too thrilled to have to wear my tie dye hippy momma tank dress to conservative redneck country nor the hot fuschia mu-mu. I mean, mu-mu's are great for the beach and duffing around the house, but teaching? And fuschia? Not!

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Lately, I've been a real hardass with myself about food. Every time I even think of stepping sideways to eat something I shouldn't, I simply tell myself something gross about being diabetic and the consequences of it, and I stop thinking sideways. I tell myself,"Stuff like that will kill you over time and you can choose something else." Then I flail about in my head about what I could do instead and something always seems to come to mind. Last night, I wanted bad stuff and ended up having fat-free ice cream and a banana. I had told myself that I already have enough health risks and that adding to my padding didn't need to happen.

I often have a different conversation where I worm my way out of it, but I'm not doing that lately. I'm horrified by the size of my body at the moment and I'm the only one who can fix it. So I am.

And I can't get exercising heavily because, well, I'm too heavy, but food I can do, until I'm able to exercise better on my cruddy knee.

So, that's all I've got cooking. Well, that and tomorrow night's veggie lasagna. ;)