You know you're desperate when...your husband is under the bed ferreting about for those damned condoms. By now, he could have driven to the 7-11 and bought some, and stalked out of the store with a smug "I'm getting some tonight" look. Instead he is looking for condoms under our bed with a flashlight and raising the dust in the air content of the room substantially.

I will be so glad when that first sperm count test comes back and says he's got swimmerless spooge. If I wasn't ovulating, I'd be all over that "screw the condoms" thing he's been trying, but I am, so I'm crossing my legs and trying not to be too much of an infernal tease.

Okay, not trying that hard.

Gosh, I'm really looking forward to wild monkey loving without worrying about babies, ovulation, or nuffin. I just want my wild monkey and I want to feel the love.