Easter was soo cool. I was just happy to go to church. I was also happy to watch the kids find eggs.

However, I was sad about Russell's loss of childhood. He asked me point blank this week, if there's really a Tooth Fairy. I told him the truth and told him some of the things we'd done when we messed up. He was laughing hysterically in disbelief at how clownish we are -- forgetting and then one of us distracting him while the other stuck a dollar under his pillow one morning, for example. I also told him if he spilled the beans on his sister that he wouldn't get any more tooth fairy money. Period. He seemed to take that to heart.

He asked, "So you've kept my teeth all this time?"
I said,"Yes, of course!"
"Are you going to give me money for my wisdom teeth?"
I said rather superiorly,"I'll send you money for those, when you're older, if you send me your teeth."
He giggled.

Then came the inevitable question about the Easter Bunny. He seemed disheartened about that. He then asked about Santa Claus, but no one has answered him yet. Genny came in the room and interrupted, so it just didn't happen and he let it lay. We've already had a conversation about being Santa Claus for other people and how that's an important part of Christmas. He gets that really well. I'm going to tell him that as long as he believes in Santa Claus, he'll get a gift from Santa, in order to keep it going for Genny. Mike said this year that he thought the Bear might just be going along with the whole Santa thing because he figured he was getting more gifts, so I don't think it's a big surprise.

I just felt sad to have it all fall apart at the same time for him. However, I also think it lets him in on a grown up secret, with Genny still around and he will enjoy that, given time. He also is very clear about how loved he is because we have gone through such tremendous charades for him for such a long time, which is also cool.

I guess I'm projecting how I felt -- I was devastated at 5 years old to my mother's chagrin to find out that there's no Santa from my two evil and older cousins. Harold's dead from a motorcycle wreck, so I don't feel like I can stay mad at him after decorating his grave next to my grandfather's, but I would still rather chew glass than see Sharon again.

---

The shelves of several weeks ago are FINALLY up. It's a freakin' miracle. Now, I'm sure it'll be several weeks before we actually get the lamps on them in the right places and the plug set up, but I dunno. Mike also installed the light in the kitchen for me. It's beautiful. It's lovely. It's FINALLY installed!

I took the kids shopping today at Walmart. I wondered what the hell I was thinking afterwards, but I did manage to buy snacks and juices for our little trip to San Francisco coming up on Wednesday. (Psst -- that means I won't be posting.) I came home and flung the Genny Bug into bed and then crawled there myself. I've got bronchitis and it just sucks ass.

I've got so much laundry and so little time.