The making love ritual is so clumsy when you're tired. Your spouse resorts to saying stupid things like,"Wanna do it?" Which immediately makes you feel cheap and nasty when what you want to feel is pretty and princessy because what you already feel is like a semi ran over you and then backed up and went back and forth a few times. You try to smartass him out of saying such things, but he repeats it every time, despite the fact that in 7 years it really has never worked.

You get hopeful because he spoons with you in bed that you're going to get your neck kissed. That hope shines brightly and is suddenly dashed when he starts to breathe deeply and drool on the back of your neck. At which point, you roll over on your comfortable side, kiss his cheek and fall asleep yourself.

At 523AM, someone's goddamn fucking OHMYGODWHATTHEHELL *IS* THATNOISE bird creature wakes you out of a sound sleep. You think hard, I mean REALLY FUCKING HARD about hooting like a Spotted Owl because they are natural predators of geese or WHATEVERTHATFUCKINGTHINGWAS to shut them up but decide that it will probably bring the tired husband upright in bed, and then will potentially yank kids out of bed, so you shut the damned window, cursing under your breath because your husband never wakes up to hear you cussing.

At 630AM you finally drop off. At 632, your husband's alarm clock goes off, so you smack him to get him out of bed and fall back to sleep, content that everything is right in the world.