My husband is a quirky neat man.
It's 1 AM and he's gone to the 24 hour Walmart to buy a telescope so we can watch Mars because we don't figure we'll even be a memory in cosmic dust when it next comes this close to us again.
I worry vaguely about the astrological consequences of having the red planet -- the planet of confrontation and conflagration so close to us.
I'm dressing in sweats and blankets to watch the last of the Perseids, too. We have seen a half dozen tonight.
Russell's birthday bash is tomorrow, but once every 60000 years is important, too. *shrug*
Sleep is for undergrads.
Saturday, August 30, 2003
Wednesday, August 27, 2003
Sunday, August 24, 2003
The harvest has started. As late as I put it my garden, I probably don't deserve vegetables, but it's producing nonetheless. Right now, I've got yellow squash in droves and I'm starting to realize I've got hot peppers to beat the band, and the apple tree that I managed to water a few times is starting to show ripe apples. I need to go buy streamers to keep out the birds, so I can collect enough to freeze applesauce. I'm also thinking to make some apple pie filling and freeze it for the pies I want in November.
I love that I am a homeowner. I love that I have fruit trees and that I can dream of fruit orchards and a larger garden next year. I love that my husband dreams it right along with me and watches my face light up as I talk excitedly about the possibilities and he simply smiles.
***
I've been in a funk for the past month because I haven't been able to exercise due to my broken rib. Without exercise, I invariably gain weight, so I'm pretty bummed about that, but I found a faculty member at the chair's BBQ on Friday who wants to swim at the Y with me. Yeah! Next week makes 6 weeks of broken rib, so while I'm still not sleeping on that side, I am going to be exercising and losing weight, dammit.
I love that I am a homeowner. I love that I have fruit trees and that I can dream of fruit orchards and a larger garden next year. I love that my husband dreams it right along with me and watches my face light up as I talk excitedly about the possibilities and he simply smiles.
***
I've been in a funk for the past month because I haven't been able to exercise due to my broken rib. Without exercise, I invariably gain weight, so I'm pretty bummed about that, but I found a faculty member at the chair's BBQ on Friday who wants to swim at the Y with me. Yeah! Next week makes 6 weeks of broken rib, so while I'm still not sleeping on that side, I am going to be exercising and losing weight, dammit.
Friday, August 22, 2003
I have the hardest time with breakfast. I always have. I was horrible before I diagnosed with diabetes because all I would have for breakfast was Mountain Dews. I figured the sugar was enough calories and that the caffeine would save me. Of course, I got drowsier and drowsier on sugar, as I drank more and more trying to get caffeinated. I also noticed that Diet Dew would make me feel better, but it's just not nearly as smooth as the sugared stuff.
Lately, with all the changes, I'm falling back into my bad patterns again. I'm not eating breakfast.
Um, *drool* I love bagels. They are essentially (1 g) fat-free, but they do constitute four carbohydrates, which means I mostly don't ever eat a whole one, or if I do, I plan on swimming or walking afterward, so my sugars don't do something awful. Of course, all that sugar can convert to fat, too, which really blows. Cuz, there is NOTHING on God's green earth as tasty fresh as a nice fresh garlic/onion bagel lightly toasted with cream cheese (light or fully loaded)!
My only other breakfast alternative is having a quesadilla smothered in homemade chipotle green salsa and sprouts. I use whole wheat (98% fat free - no lard) tortillas, enough grated sharp cheddar to barely cover half of it, a smidge of olive oil on teflon, and then I load it with salsa and sprouts. (Don't tell the rednecks I'm a transplanted, sprout eating, former Californian, or I'm way screwed.)
My quick breakfast is a V-8 and a balance bar (usually one of those fake chocolate ones), but I don't have any V-8 and the balance bar is never enough on its own and god forbid, I'd have to eat two. I can eat one, but two just makes me go 'ick' because I can talk my way through one with that odd protein aftertaste, but definitely not two.
And try as I might, I cannot convince myself that Kashi tastes good, nor do my sugars appreciate the milk. It's okay, but it's sooo high sugar and the milk just about kills me. I try to gag a bowl down once in a while, but truthfully, my perfect diabetic breakfast is about a half cup of low-fat cottage cheese with a cup of berries with a small cup of lite syrup peaches.
Okay, so while tomorrow is going to be hectic, I'm going to make a point to get out to the kitchen and eat some damned breakfast before I leave.
Lately, with all the changes, I'm falling back into my bad patterns again. I'm not eating breakfast.
Um, *drool* I love bagels. They are essentially (1 g) fat-free, but they do constitute four carbohydrates, which means I mostly don't ever eat a whole one, or if I do, I plan on swimming or walking afterward, so my sugars don't do something awful. Of course, all that sugar can convert to fat, too, which really blows. Cuz, there is NOTHING on God's green earth as tasty fresh as a nice fresh garlic/onion bagel lightly toasted with cream cheese (light or fully loaded)!
My only other breakfast alternative is having a quesadilla smothered in homemade chipotle green salsa and sprouts. I use whole wheat (98% fat free - no lard) tortillas, enough grated sharp cheddar to barely cover half of it, a smidge of olive oil on teflon, and then I load it with salsa and sprouts. (Don't tell the rednecks I'm a transplanted, sprout eating, former Californian, or I'm way screwed.)
My quick breakfast is a V-8 and a balance bar (usually one of those fake chocolate ones), but I don't have any V-8 and the balance bar is never enough on its own and god forbid, I'd have to eat two. I can eat one, but two just makes me go 'ick' because I can talk my way through one with that odd protein aftertaste, but definitely not two.
And try as I might, I cannot convince myself that Kashi tastes good, nor do my sugars appreciate the milk. It's okay, but it's sooo high sugar and the milk just about kills me. I try to gag a bowl down once in a while, but truthfully, my perfect diabetic breakfast is about a half cup of low-fat cottage cheese with a cup of berries with a small cup of lite syrup peaches.
Okay, so while tomorrow is going to be hectic, I'm going to make a point to get out to the kitchen and eat some damned breakfast before I leave.
Thursday, August 21, 2003
Tired and wet. Those are today's words.
It's been raining, which in the desert in mid-August is a welcome thing in many ways, it's also a big pain in the patooty.
I'm really worn out. I've been doing a lot of good stuff and on top of it all, shhhh, I'm going to start putting together that book. I talked with my old professor today and I asked her about it and she got me thinking about the where to start place, so I am going to start with a prospectus. I'm not clear what that is, exactly, but apparently, Prentice-Hall has a website to give you a good idea.
I know some of the books they published out of some of the dumbest professors at UC Davis, so I can't imagine that they wouldn't be interested in this.
I have to really consider that audience though. Who are you audience? Are you parents or teachers or student teachers or just exactly what?
It's been raining, which in the desert in mid-August is a welcome thing in many ways, it's also a big pain in the patooty.
I'm really worn out. I've been doing a lot of good stuff and on top of it all, shhhh, I'm going to start putting together that book. I talked with my old professor today and I asked her about it and she got me thinking about the where to start place, so I am going to start with a prospectus. I'm not clear what that is, exactly, but apparently, Prentice-Hall has a website to give you a good idea.
I know some of the books they published out of some of the dumbest professors at UC Davis, so I can't imagine that they wouldn't be interested in this.
I have to really consider that audience though. Who are you audience? Are you parents or teachers or student teachers or just exactly what?
Tuesday, August 19, 2003
I'm official slavegirl to the chair and to a couple other profs, so it's gonna be interesting. I am dying though because I got offered an independent study thing to help actual people, but I think I am going to refer to my friend, Silvia, and see if she'd like to do it.
Shhhhh, don't tell the politically correct police, but I really like working. It's nice to be with grownups. It's nice to miss my kids a little, too, instead of having them on my nerves, too.
Yesterday, between wearing a bra and moving around on campus a bunch, my rib was about killing me, but a night of vicodan helped that greatly. I didn't have to be to work today until 1. Also nice.
I also told friends about my enjoyment of the silence of the van. I drove home yesterday to pick up the kids and was really enjoying the silence of the van. I enjoyed not having to put music on for Genny. I enjoyed no bickering and I enjoyed the silence of all of it.
Shhhhh, don't tell the politically correct police, but I really like working. It's nice to be with grownups. It's nice to miss my kids a little, too, instead of having them on my nerves, too.
Yesterday, between wearing a bra and moving around on campus a bunch, my rib was about killing me, but a night of vicodan helped that greatly. I didn't have to be to work today until 1. Also nice.
I also told friends about my enjoyment of the silence of the van. I drove home yesterday to pick up the kids and was really enjoying the silence of the van. I enjoyed not having to put music on for Genny. I enjoyed no bickering and I enjoyed the silence of all of it.
Friday, August 15, 2003
Something somewhere is on fire because I've been smelling the smoke. As much as I am a tree-hugging candyassed liberal hippie momma, (Redneck Ruby is a ...say it with me now...misnomer), with my asthma as bad as it is, I wish everything would burn and go away right now, especially the rabbit brush which has been blooming and kicking my wheezing coughing allergic buttochs.
However, I do have a nearly complete kitchen. Mike finished the painting last night, so I just have to put everything in place and show you all the pix. I now must scour the dishes. I also am going to have to run out hastily dressed and pull out the trash to the curb because I can guarantee that Mike has not.
My really cool thing is that Mike and I are talking about how to use gray water recycling in the desert. We are talking about a storage tank and hooking it up to drip irrigate my future fruit trees. While I'd prefer organic, it would be even neater to conserve water around here. I'd rather water the garden and flush the john with gray water, thanks, than use my fresh drinking water which is such a valuable commodity in the desert. I also prefer using the clothesline when I can, compact flourescent bulbs, and stuff like that. Of course, when it comes to black widows and scorpions, I say, whip out the chrysanthemums and gimme my pyrethrines.
Today is my last day of full-time childcare of both my kids until a school vacation time. I should be politically correct and be waxing poetic about how I'll miss doing this, but mostly, I am absolutely ecstatic about the prospect of going to work and being intellectually challenged and being around my peers. And yes, I will miss this. I will miss having my morning cuddles with Genny and having Russell report his misadventures in the chicken coop. I will miss the quiet half and hour that I lay in my bed watching the sunrise before I doze back to sleep for a couple more hours. I will miss sleeping in til 9, or the occasionally delish 10 with the kids.
Russell is having a classic transitional morning. He's sobbing and whining about stupid shit and all I feel like doing is committing random acts of child abuse. I'm not, but I feel like it. Of course, he's been up an hour and he didn't bother to take his meds, so we're also waiting for his meds to kick in. I wish they'd kick him already because I'm sooooo there. He's so horrible when he's like this and I just have a picture of what the coming week before he starts school is going to be like and it's simply NOT PRETTY. In this case, it would be really awesome to be wrong about this, so after his meds kick in, he and I are going to have a little talk about what he can expect -- to the best of my ability. I won't know my schedule until I meet with my faculty members next Monday.
It would be really nice to have the option of dropping off/picking up Mr. Boy at school, so that I only need childcare the couple nights I have class and only for an hour or so until Mike gets there.
Yeah, I sent him across the way to feed the neighbor's horse and when he came back he found the thing he was frustrated about not finding and he was a different child. I just need more time in my life.
However, I do have a nearly complete kitchen. Mike finished the painting last night, so I just have to put everything in place and show you all the pix. I now must scour the dishes. I also am going to have to run out hastily dressed and pull out the trash to the curb because I can guarantee that Mike has not.
My really cool thing is that Mike and I are talking about how to use gray water recycling in the desert. We are talking about a storage tank and hooking it up to drip irrigate my future fruit trees. While I'd prefer organic, it would be even neater to conserve water around here. I'd rather water the garden and flush the john with gray water, thanks, than use my fresh drinking water which is such a valuable commodity in the desert. I also prefer using the clothesline when I can, compact flourescent bulbs, and stuff like that. Of course, when it comes to black widows and scorpions, I say, whip out the chrysanthemums and gimme my pyrethrines.
Today is my last day of full-time childcare of both my kids until a school vacation time. I should be politically correct and be waxing poetic about how I'll miss doing this, but mostly, I am absolutely ecstatic about the prospect of going to work and being intellectually challenged and being around my peers. And yes, I will miss this. I will miss having my morning cuddles with Genny and having Russell report his misadventures in the chicken coop. I will miss the quiet half and hour that I lay in my bed watching the sunrise before I doze back to sleep for a couple more hours. I will miss sleeping in til 9, or the occasionally delish 10 with the kids.
Russell is having a classic transitional morning. He's sobbing and whining about stupid shit and all I feel like doing is committing random acts of child abuse. I'm not, but I feel like it. Of course, he's been up an hour and he didn't bother to take his meds, so we're also waiting for his meds to kick in. I wish they'd kick him already because I'm sooooo there. He's so horrible when he's like this and I just have a picture of what the coming week before he starts school is going to be like and it's simply NOT PRETTY. In this case, it would be really awesome to be wrong about this, so after his meds kick in, he and I are going to have a little talk about what he can expect -- to the best of my ability. I won't know my schedule until I meet with my faculty members next Monday.
It would be really nice to have the option of dropping off/picking up Mr. Boy at school, so that I only need childcare the couple nights I have class and only for an hour or so until Mike gets there.
Yeah, I sent him across the way to feed the neighbor's horse and when he came back he found the thing he was frustrated about not finding and he was a different child. I just need more time in my life.
Tuesday, August 12, 2003
My home town has been victim to some of the worst thunderstorms and flash flooding in the country. It just got called a disaster area by the State of NH.
When my brother and I were young, we used to climb this 200 year old maple tree out back. Last week, a third of that tree shook loose in the thunderstorm, took out a power pole -- chopping it off 20 feet above the ground and missing the nearby barn, house, and cars. Adjacent to the back part of my parents' property, a teenager was swept through a culvert and survived. The main roads to the town are all washed out. There is one remaining road and it's for local necessary traffic -- in other words if the fire guys don't know you, you can't get through.
This morning, my town was on Good Morning, America and it wasn't a good thing.
When my brother and I were young, we used to climb this 200 year old maple tree out back. Last week, a third of that tree shook loose in the thunderstorm, took out a power pole -- chopping it off 20 feet above the ground and missing the nearby barn, house, and cars. Adjacent to the back part of my parents' property, a teenager was swept through a culvert and survived. The main roads to the town are all washed out. There is one remaining road and it's for local necessary traffic -- in other words if the fire guys don't know you, you can't get through.
This morning, my town was on Good Morning, America and it wasn't a good thing.
Saturday, August 09, 2003
My chickens finally laid their first eggs! I'm so proud of my girls! I had no idea how long they'd been festering in the henhouse, so I had to toss out my first three smallish brown-shelled eggs, but you can betcha, I'll be out there tomorrow, looking for my first edible eggs and I'll be planning quiches and omelets and all kinds of beautiful things.
Once we get back from a birthday party tomorrow, we're going to finish up painting the kitchen and then we're going to fence the garden off from the chickens and let them out in the yard during the day to peck and play. The second you leave that coop door open, they're all flowing out their henhouse -- a river of clucking and ruffling feathers pecking at every little thing they find, so I think it's time.
It was weird, I realized tonight, I probably haven't been out there in a month and a half, but I've been busy and broken. It was really cool to find that they've started to lay eggs. I had Mike lay out straw in each of their boxes and we cleaned out all the old lumber and made sure they had water and lots of grain and they were just so damned cute and bokbok. I tossed in some weeds for them to peck at, which they appreciated. I was struck by the fact that they've all gotten so large and matronly and Rupert is such a little rooster, I keep wondering if he's up to keeping the girls amused. He's so much smaller than they are and I keep thinking -- you know the way you do if it's a boy beagle and a female St Bernard,"Can he reach?"
Only time will tell, I s'pose.
Once we get back from a birthday party tomorrow, we're going to finish up painting the kitchen and then we're going to fence the garden off from the chickens and let them out in the yard during the day to peck and play. The second you leave that coop door open, they're all flowing out their henhouse -- a river of clucking and ruffling feathers pecking at every little thing they find, so I think it's time.
It was weird, I realized tonight, I probably haven't been out there in a month and a half, but I've been busy and broken. It was really cool to find that they've started to lay eggs. I had Mike lay out straw in each of their boxes and we cleaned out all the old lumber and made sure they had water and lots of grain and they were just so damned cute and bokbok. I tossed in some weeds for them to peck at, which they appreciated. I was struck by the fact that they've all gotten so large and matronly and Rupert is such a little rooster, I keep wondering if he's up to keeping the girls amused. He's so much smaller than they are and I keep thinking -- you know the way you do if it's a boy beagle and a female St Bernard,"Can he reach?"
Only time will tell, I s'pose.
Friday, August 08, 2003
My chickens finally laid their first eggs! I'm so proud of my girls! I had no idea how long they'd been festering in the henhouse, so I had to toss out my first three smallish brown-shelled eggs, but you can betcha, I'll be out there tomorrow, looking for my first edible eggs and I'll be planning quiches and omelets and all kinds of beautiful things.
Once we get back from a birthday party tomorrow, we're going to finish up painting the kitchen and then we're going to fence the garden off from the chickens and let them out in the yard during the day to peck and play. The second you leave that coop door open, they're all flowing out their henhouse -- a river of clucking and ruffling feathers pecking at every little thing they find, so I think it's time.
It was weird, I realized tonight, I probably haven't been out there in a month and a half, but I've been busy and broken. It was really cool to find that they've started to lay eggs. I had Mike lay out straw in each of their boxes and we cleaned out all the old lumber and made sure they had water and lots of grain and they were just so damned cute and bokbok. I tossed in some weeds for them to peck at, which they appreciated. I was struck by the fact that they've all gotten so large and matronly and Rupert is such a little rooster, I keep wondering if he's up to keeping the girls amused. He's so much smaller than they are and I keep thinking -- you know the way you do if it's a boy beagle and a female St Bernard,"Can he reach?"
Only time will tell, I s'pose.
Once we get back from a birthday party tomorrow, we're going to finish up painting the kitchen and then we're going to fence the garden off from the chickens and let them out in the yard during the day to peck and play. The second you leave that coop door open, they're all flowing out their henhouse -- a river of clucking and ruffling feathers pecking at every little thing they find, so I think it's time.
It was weird, I realized tonight, I probably haven't been out there in a month and a half, but I've been busy and broken. It was really cool to find that they've started to lay eggs. I had Mike lay out straw in each of their boxes and we cleaned out all the old lumber and made sure they had water and lots of grain and they were just so damned cute and bokbok. I tossed in some weeds for them to peck at, which they appreciated. I was struck by the fact that they've all gotten so large and matronly and Rupert is such a little rooster, I keep wondering if he's up to keeping the girls amused. He's so much smaller than they are and I keep thinking -- you know the way you do if it's a boy beagle and a female St Bernard,"Can he reach?"
Only time will tell, I s'pose.
Thursday, August 07, 2003
Okay, so doing all that stuff, yesterday? Yeah, I'm paying the price today.
In my defense, it doesn't hurt nearly as bad as it would have a week ago. I have to flip those stupid boards though and paint the bottoms. I just can't bring myself to put my beautifully cracklepainted shelving up if I haven't got some paint on the bottom. (Why not paint on the bottom? Heck, I've got paint everywhere else.)
It didn't help that my husband was in a snotty mood and said things like,"Why don't you get off your ass and do A?" I have been feeling guilty about not doing everything lickety-split with the busted rib, so I mopped the floor, I reorganized the pantry shelf, sewed curtains, and unpacked a box of dishes, when I should have said,"You're only working about 15 minutes of overtime nightly, why don't you give me a fucking break, butthead?" I let him know that this morning however, when he thought he'd snuggle up and get friendly about how I am watching his kids from the crack of dawn and entertaining them, making him dinner on a nightly basis around his schedule, making sure he's got clean clothes, and keeping track of our website contract, not to mention the budget, the shopping, and taking care of the neighbor's horses. This doesn't include all the sewing I'm obligated to do between now and when hell freezes over, either. Yeesh.
You know how much fun it is to watch a 6'7" man backpedal on a unicycle? It was kind of like that. I'm still ticked at him, so I think I'll get him to do the damned pots and put down a base coat tonight on the rest of the kitchen.
Yes, Dorothy, I am a Wicked Witch and I don't melt in water, honey, as one can see from my dishpan hands.
In my defense, it doesn't hurt nearly as bad as it would have a week ago. I have to flip those stupid boards though and paint the bottoms. I just can't bring myself to put my beautifully cracklepainted shelving up if I haven't got some paint on the bottom. (Why not paint on the bottom? Heck, I've got paint everywhere else.)
It didn't help that my husband was in a snotty mood and said things like,"Why don't you get off your ass and do A?" I have been feeling guilty about not doing everything lickety-split with the busted rib, so I mopped the floor, I reorganized the pantry shelf, sewed curtains, and unpacked a box of dishes, when I should have said,"You're only working about 15 minutes of overtime nightly, why don't you give me a fucking break, butthead?" I let him know that this morning however, when he thought he'd snuggle up and get friendly about how I am watching his kids from the crack of dawn and entertaining them, making him dinner on a nightly basis around his schedule, making sure he's got clean clothes, and keeping track of our website contract, not to mention the budget, the shopping, and taking care of the neighbor's horses. This doesn't include all the sewing I'm obligated to do between now and when hell freezes over, either. Yeesh.
You know how much fun it is to watch a 6'7" man backpedal on a unicycle? It was kind of like that. I'm still ticked at him, so I think I'll get him to do the damned pots and put down a base coat tonight on the rest of the kitchen.
Yes, Dorothy, I am a Wicked Witch and I don't melt in water, honey, as one can see from my dishpan hands.
Okay, it's official. I love what I am doing with my kitchen. It's gorgeous. We only have one half of it done, but I redid the curtains in a super fantastic way. I didn't want to totally ditch the old curtains because they're heavy and heavy is good in a place with such extreme temperature changes, but I wanted to spruce them up, so I'm stitched my jalapeno pepper fabric over the old ones like an overlay until we rip out the slider and replace it with french doors w/vent windows. Then, I may or may not use my jalapeno fabric on those. The view here is nice enough to not want to spoil it, but I also like to hide my sex life from the coyotes. Our neighbors might be able to get a view, but they'd probably have to have binoculars and a real penchant for watching lily white butts.
I am now trying to figure out what colors to make shelves and cabinets and stuff, which is kind of the fluff painting but it all feels good. Last night, I stained the big curtain rod that goes over the kitchen slider and today I sprayed on a glossy overcoat. Today, I prepped and crackle painted the small corner shelving. I didn't have to, but it adds to the whole decor thing and this time, I used large gobs of crackle and the crackle looks incredible. The kitchen is starting to look like I could actually finish unpacking before I turn 40. Tonight, I found a box in the kitchen that was full of my dessert plates and the rest of my cereal bowls. I felt deliriously happy and in my delirium, I then chose to mop the floor, fill the dishwasher with my newly found dishes and scrub black chunks off the tall cooking pot I use for heating foods to be canned before I drop them into a 20 minute hot bath.
As soon as we get it done, I'll post pictures. In the interim, you'll have to be stuck with the unshakeable and nauseating mind image of my lily white butt in a pair of some poor (now blind) coyote's binoculars.
I am now trying to figure out what colors to make shelves and cabinets and stuff, which is kind of the fluff painting but it all feels good. Last night, I stained the big curtain rod that goes over the kitchen slider and today I sprayed on a glossy overcoat. Today, I prepped and crackle painted the small corner shelving. I didn't have to, but it adds to the whole decor thing and this time, I used large gobs of crackle and the crackle looks incredible. The kitchen is starting to look like I could actually finish unpacking before I turn 40. Tonight, I found a box in the kitchen that was full of my dessert plates and the rest of my cereal bowls. I felt deliriously happy and in my delirium, I then chose to mop the floor, fill the dishwasher with my newly found dishes and scrub black chunks off the tall cooking pot I use for heating foods to be canned before I drop them into a 20 minute hot bath.
As soon as we get it done, I'll post pictures. In the interim, you'll have to be stuck with the unshakeable and nauseating mind image of my lily white butt in a pair of some poor (now blind) coyote's binoculars.
Wednesday, August 06, 2003
My rib is beginning to heal. I'm sure the fact that my husband painted half the kitchen for me has a great deal to do with how fast I am healing. It helps additionally, that the kitchen looks fantabulous.
We've had some really weird weather of late. Usually, this time of the year in the desert is dryer than diabetic skin in winter, but we've had a lot of rain and that is making everything bloom at an odd time and my allergies are kicking up. Unfortunately, my asthma is kicking in, which means I'm coughing and hugging a pillow a lot.
I've got a lot of sewing done, in the works, etc. I expect to be sewing straight through Christmas. I've made two baby blankets (one is just tied and the other is just a sewn receiving blanket, I've got another one I'm quilting, I've got another I've got to piece and quilt and it gets uglier and uglier. I realized that I could actually make a cuddling blanket for someone, so I have to make that, too. My friend is having a boy in a month and a half, so I've got to go find boy clothes for her.
I should talk about A and what happened, but I'm so hurt right now, that I can't. I just won't be talking to her mom any time soon. Her mom is irresponsible and I can't hardly stand to watch. I don't understand people who do things to hurt their kids and then stand around and justify it. Leave it at that.
We've had some really weird weather of late. Usually, this time of the year in the desert is dryer than diabetic skin in winter, but we've had a lot of rain and that is making everything bloom at an odd time and my allergies are kicking up. Unfortunately, my asthma is kicking in, which means I'm coughing and hugging a pillow a lot.
I've got a lot of sewing done, in the works, etc. I expect to be sewing straight through Christmas. I've made two baby blankets (one is just tied and the other is just a sewn receiving blanket, I've got another one I'm quilting, I've got another I've got to piece and quilt and it gets uglier and uglier. I realized that I could actually make a cuddling blanket for someone, so I have to make that, too. My friend is having a boy in a month and a half, so I've got to go find boy clothes for her.
I should talk about A and what happened, but I'm so hurt right now, that I can't. I just won't be talking to her mom any time soon. Her mom is irresponsible and I can't hardly stand to watch. I don't understand people who do things to hurt their kids and then stand around and justify it. Leave it at that.
Wednesday, July 30, 2003
Things I have learned about having a broken rib....
--there is such a thing as extra strength vicodan
--you can take two vicodan ES at night and sometimes it still hurts
--getting a cold when you have a broken rib is the most horrible thing imaginable
--vicodan makes you loopy
--vicodan is my friend
--three year olds take advantage of sick mommies and thrash the house
--no, wearing a constrictor band does not make it better
--breathing deeply may prevent pneumonia, but it hurts like a mofo
--wearing a bra is impossible unless it is all cotton, two sizes too large , and blue
--explaining that not wearing a bra is kind of uncomfortable to a P.A. who is a member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee is a source of mirth
--laughing hurts
--I am a member of the Big Breasted Broad Club and I would prefer to wear a bra, thanks
--giving birth is preferable to a broken rib except for that whole the next 18 years thing
--driving for hours on end hurts
--having your husband forget to gas the car so that you run out of gas on the top of a mountain in the middle of nowhere would be okay if you could just shoot yourself rather than remain in the car or sit on a log
--sighing hurts
--there is such a thing as extra strength vicodan
--you can take two vicodan ES at night and sometimes it still hurts
--getting a cold when you have a broken rib is the most horrible thing imaginable
--vicodan makes you loopy
--vicodan is my friend
--three year olds take advantage of sick mommies and thrash the house
--no, wearing a constrictor band does not make it better
--breathing deeply may prevent pneumonia, but it hurts like a mofo
--wearing a bra is impossible unless it is all cotton, two sizes too large , and blue
--explaining that not wearing a bra is kind of uncomfortable to a P.A. who is a member of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee is a source of mirth
--laughing hurts
--I am a member of the Big Breasted Broad Club and I would prefer to wear a bra, thanks
--giving birth is preferable to a broken rib except for that whole the next 18 years thing
--driving for hours on end hurts
--having your husband forget to gas the car so that you run out of gas on the top of a mountain in the middle of nowhere would be okay if you could just shoot yourself rather than remain in the car or sit on a log
--sighing hurts
Wednesday, July 23, 2003
My ribs are continuing to be very very sore and to limit my movement. While vioxx can make that better, I'm not sure it's better for me to be able to do more and thus, put myself at risk. Not that I'm a workaholic or anything, Nooooo, not me. Uh-unh. No sirreeee.
My mom and I were comparing notes about that too, because she's torn the cartilege between her ribs and dammit, if I'm not a whole lot like her on that whole workaholic thing. She says she keeps reinjuring the ribs and it's taking her that much longer to heal. I've actually been trying really hard to slow down and take it easy, but I've been finding phrases like "Gosh, I should really paint that bathroom" coming unbidden into my head and "Hey, only three more loads of laundry, if I hang dry them."
The biggest bitch is that I have to finish that baby quilt and there's just no way I can get there right now. Sitting up and leaning forward like you have to do for sewing for an extended period of time would have me nauseous with agony in short order. I've been thinking about what if I got it pinned and taught Angelina, but I've been also debating that whole patience with a teenager thing and with the whole nauseous pain thing happening, I'm not sure I can handle the other, especially when we are talking about my thigh squishing Bernette sewing machine. I mean, (insert high pitched voice),"It's a Bernina!" And it cost $400 several years ago when that actually counted for something.
I did go to the dermatologist on Monday and I have a full blown yeast gone to fungus skin infection under my boobs. I've got the meds for it, as well as medicated anti-itching stuff for my ever itchy back, and a fancy alpha hydroxy skin lotion. Diabetes blows chunks. It doesn't matter that I my last hba1c was a 5.7 to my skin, it still grows icky critters in inconvenient places. Although, someone found the yeast infection cream stuff in the remote flap on the couch and accused me of using it, however, my poor daughter has been the sufferer of late. Hey, there's little you can't do with a mini pad, active yogurt cultures and a tube of monostat. I think a commercial I just saw in that vein scared me some.
Basically, a commercial for yogurt and in the background has about 10 grown women smiling and clearly involved in a slumber party and all I could think is "What is this, a yeast infection party?"
What kind of women have those? Is that a bunch of single women who've hung out at the pool too long in their swim suits and all discovered somewhat offhandedly that they all have yeast infections and hey, what the heck, let's have a yogurt and monostat party?
Honestly, the only women I see at the public pools are not young pretty singles, they're frumpy pretty wives watching their kids and they don't have enough time to lay on their towels by the pool soaking up so much sun that they change their body chemistry. They are running their asses off chasing munchkins in and out of the water, walking someone to pee in the bathroom (instead of the pool), toweling off a child, suggesting that their blue-lipped child take 5 in the sun, playing "find the penny", and disciplining one of their other children with the phrase,"Please don't try tossing pennies down other people's butt cracks." And a few minutes later,"Please don't drop pennies down my swimsuit."
I hear doors thundering in the hall. I am getting in that shower before I hear the phrase,"What's for breakfast?" and feel obligated to cook.
My mom and I were comparing notes about that too, because she's torn the cartilege between her ribs and dammit, if I'm not a whole lot like her on that whole workaholic thing. She says she keeps reinjuring the ribs and it's taking her that much longer to heal. I've actually been trying really hard to slow down and take it easy, but I've been finding phrases like "Gosh, I should really paint that bathroom" coming unbidden into my head and "Hey, only three more loads of laundry, if I hang dry them."
The biggest bitch is that I have to finish that baby quilt and there's just no way I can get there right now. Sitting up and leaning forward like you have to do for sewing for an extended period of time would have me nauseous with agony in short order. I've been thinking about what if I got it pinned and taught Angelina, but I've been also debating that whole patience with a teenager thing and with the whole nauseous pain thing happening, I'm not sure I can handle the other, especially when we are talking about my thigh squishing Bernette sewing machine. I mean, (insert high pitched voice),"It's a Bernina!" And it cost $400 several years ago when that actually counted for something.
I did go to the dermatologist on Monday and I have a full blown yeast gone to fungus skin infection under my boobs. I've got the meds for it, as well as medicated anti-itching stuff for my ever itchy back, and a fancy alpha hydroxy skin lotion. Diabetes blows chunks. It doesn't matter that I my last hba1c was a 5.7 to my skin, it still grows icky critters in inconvenient places. Although, someone found the yeast infection cream stuff in the remote flap on the couch and accused me of using it, however, my poor daughter has been the sufferer of late. Hey, there's little you can't do with a mini pad, active yogurt cultures and a tube of monostat. I think a commercial I just saw in that vein scared me some.
Basically, a commercial for yogurt and in the background has about 10 grown women smiling and clearly involved in a slumber party and all I could think is "What is this, a yeast infection party?"
What kind of women have those? Is that a bunch of single women who've hung out at the pool too long in their swim suits and all discovered somewhat offhandedly that they all have yeast infections and hey, what the heck, let's have a yogurt and monostat party?
Honestly, the only women I see at the public pools are not young pretty singles, they're frumpy pretty wives watching their kids and they don't have enough time to lay on their towels by the pool soaking up so much sun that they change their body chemistry. They are running their asses off chasing munchkins in and out of the water, walking someone to pee in the bathroom (instead of the pool), toweling off a child, suggesting that their blue-lipped child take 5 in the sun, playing "find the penny", and disciplining one of their other children with the phrase,"Please don't try tossing pennies down other people's butt cracks." And a few minutes later,"Please don't drop pennies down my swimsuit."
I hear doors thundering in the hall. I am getting in that shower before I hear the phrase,"What's for breakfast?" and feel obligated to cook.
Tuesday, July 22, 2003
Okay, Mike and I took the kids to a local water park on Friday. I was then encouraged and dared to ride a ride called,"The Black Widow." As I hit the second tier, I caught a lot of air and started to flip on my big giant floaty tube thingy, so rather than go down on my face on the ride the rest of the way, I let the tube go up behind me and I landed in back in the track and went down. I knew I got banged up and I took it easy for the rest of the day. I took 800 mg of ibuprofen, and I got worse. I got to where I was whimpering when Mike drove over road seams, at which point, I called my doctor's line to see just how much painkiller could I get hepped up on. I was referred to the nurse's line, who referred me to the emergency room.
Several hours later from the emergency room, I was sent home with the prognosis: A broken rib.
Deep breathing hurts. Sneezing hurts. Belching hurts. Drinking a lot of cold water hurts. Sleeping hurts. And vicodan is a drug you can only use at night because it isn't good for driving. I know, I know -- details, details.
And clothes you can button up are just about the best damned thing you can have in your wardrobe. At least now that the muscles have mostly healed, I can get on my own underwear. Getting in and out of bed is a complete and total bitch. And hiccups are the work of the devil.
The worst part is that I can't hug the kids very well. Genny's been dying to cuddle and all I can do is hold hands, which just plain blows.
Several hours later from the emergency room, I was sent home with the prognosis: A broken rib.
Deep breathing hurts. Sneezing hurts. Belching hurts. Drinking a lot of cold water hurts. Sleeping hurts. And vicodan is a drug you can only use at night because it isn't good for driving. I know, I know -- details, details.
And clothes you can button up are just about the best damned thing you can have in your wardrobe. At least now that the muscles have mostly healed, I can get on my own underwear. Getting in and out of bed is a complete and total bitch. And hiccups are the work of the devil.
The worst part is that I can't hug the kids very well. Genny's been dying to cuddle and all I can do is hold hands, which just plain blows.
Thursday, July 17, 2003
Dear God,
I know you're testing me lately. I am studying hard and I hope I'm doing well. Someday, I'd like to make honor roll.
Today, my 15 year old friend and niece started to just leave. She made it so I could find her easily, so she wasn't really leaving, but I'd been suspecting she was sad and depressed, because she'd been hitting me so much. She made it seem like play, but when someone is always hitting you, it's like they're trying to get your attention. I kept wondering what she didn't think I was attending and today we found out.
I touched her toe and made a smooching noise and that's the straw that broke the camel's back, apparently, because she left me at the restaurant with my two kids and the unpaid bill. I watched where she walked, paid the bill, strapped the kids in the car and drove down the road 4 blocks. I called 911 and as I was transferred to the police, I saw her up ahead walking on the same street, so I picked her up and talked with her. We discussed that we love each other and that people who love each other don't just up and leave. I asked her what was going on and she said she's worrying. I said,"OK, when we get home, Genny goes down for a nap, Russell goes into the bathroom with the fan on to clean it, and you and I are going to talk."
I cried all the way home as I drove, just tears streaming down my face, quietly. Remember, God, I prayed? Thanks for hearing my prayers because when she did talk, I sat quietly and listened and I asked questions to get more answers. We reiterated the same conversation over again -- pete and repeat -- how if things go to shit, she can stay here and she'll be safe and have her needs met. How her mom seems to be making the strides necessary to provide for her. She looked desperately sad and I asked why the toe thing set her over the edge and she shrugged. I said,"After I had endured a lot of abuse, there were some things that triggered me, sometimes for no reason." I told her about my weirdnesses about hair and hairbrushes. She looked relieved and said that yeah, sometimes she has the same thing. I said that she'd been hitting, kicking and punching me for days and that I had been worried, but waiting.
She apologized.
I told her I loved her. She told me she loved me back.
And for the first time all week, she went to her room and slept.
I may not be able to save the world, and maybe even not her, but I feel I am doing the right thing by making the effort. God, you tell me to love and I hope I love enough.
God, please hold A in the light and take all my wishes and hopes for her happiness and help her make them real in her life.
Love and adoration,
Wendy
I know you're testing me lately. I am studying hard and I hope I'm doing well. Someday, I'd like to make honor roll.
Today, my 15 year old friend and niece started to just leave. She made it so I could find her easily, so she wasn't really leaving, but I'd been suspecting she was sad and depressed, because she'd been hitting me so much. She made it seem like play, but when someone is always hitting you, it's like they're trying to get your attention. I kept wondering what she didn't think I was attending and today we found out.
I touched her toe and made a smooching noise and that's the straw that broke the camel's back, apparently, because she left me at the restaurant with my two kids and the unpaid bill. I watched where she walked, paid the bill, strapped the kids in the car and drove down the road 4 blocks. I called 911 and as I was transferred to the police, I saw her up ahead walking on the same street, so I picked her up and talked with her. We discussed that we love each other and that people who love each other don't just up and leave. I asked her what was going on and she said she's worrying. I said,"OK, when we get home, Genny goes down for a nap, Russell goes into the bathroom with the fan on to clean it, and you and I are going to talk."
I cried all the way home as I drove, just tears streaming down my face, quietly. Remember, God, I prayed? Thanks for hearing my prayers because when she did talk, I sat quietly and listened and I asked questions to get more answers. We reiterated the same conversation over again -- pete and repeat -- how if things go to shit, she can stay here and she'll be safe and have her needs met. How her mom seems to be making the strides necessary to provide for her. She looked desperately sad and I asked why the toe thing set her over the edge and she shrugged. I said,"After I had endured a lot of abuse, there were some things that triggered me, sometimes for no reason." I told her about my weirdnesses about hair and hairbrushes. She looked relieved and said that yeah, sometimes she has the same thing. I said that she'd been hitting, kicking and punching me for days and that I had been worried, but waiting.
She apologized.
I told her I loved her. She told me she loved me back.
And for the first time all week, she went to her room and slept.
I may not be able to save the world, and maybe even not her, but I feel I am doing the right thing by making the effort. God, you tell me to love and I hope I love enough.
God, please hold A in the light and take all my wishes and hopes for her happiness and help her make them real in her life.
Love and adoration,
Wendy
Saturday, July 12, 2003
I am feeling like a rabid angry elephant and I'm thinking there has to be a china shop somewhere that I can demolish.
We took A for Pauline because she needed to be able to pay bills. So Pauline is now letting the girlfriend of A's older brother stay there, which means she's also letting the older brother who abused her so much that she kicked him out mid-school year when he turned 18. The girlfriend is 17 and told her parents she wanted to leave so she could be with her abusive boyfriend. Her parents said go ahead (don't let the door hit your butt on your way out the door, dear), however the girlfriend had no plan for where to live, Pauline said she could stay for a couple days, which is now stretching to a couple weeks.
I know very freakin' well that Pauline's son won't give her a penny towards anything and that Pauline will be paying for everything. I also know that despite the fact that Pauline said she was putting A first, that this is a big fat lie.
Mike and I have already discussed that A may come stay here, if the brother and girlfriend aren't out when I take her home for her birthday and that we'll simply come take her back and that Pauline will fill out custody papers granting us guardianship over A, so that we can put her on our insurance and claim her on taxes. She'll stay for the entire school year, so that she doesn't lose school time and we've also discussed that we will work out letting her get involved in school activities, so that she can have more of a social life because we know that will be the hardest thing on her about doing this.
I'm pissed because I'm paying for Pauline's son's sex life. I'm ripshit that her daughter, who has worked her ass off and been a terrific help and kept up her end of the contract with us is getting the short end of the stick. I don't give a shit if her son is a bully, Pauline needs to call the cops and have him removed from her home and provide for the one kid which she is still legally obligated to support.
We took A for Pauline because she needed to be able to pay bills. So Pauline is now letting the girlfriend of A's older brother stay there, which means she's also letting the older brother who abused her so much that she kicked him out mid-school year when he turned 18. The girlfriend is 17 and told her parents she wanted to leave so she could be with her abusive boyfriend. Her parents said go ahead (don't let the door hit your butt on your way out the door, dear), however the girlfriend had no plan for where to live, Pauline said she could stay for a couple days, which is now stretching to a couple weeks.
I know very freakin' well that Pauline's son won't give her a penny towards anything and that Pauline will be paying for everything. I also know that despite the fact that Pauline said she was putting A first, that this is a big fat lie.
Mike and I have already discussed that A may come stay here, if the brother and girlfriend aren't out when I take her home for her birthday and that we'll simply come take her back and that Pauline will fill out custody papers granting us guardianship over A, so that we can put her on our insurance and claim her on taxes. She'll stay for the entire school year, so that she doesn't lose school time and we've also discussed that we will work out letting her get involved in school activities, so that she can have more of a social life because we know that will be the hardest thing on her about doing this.
I'm pissed because I'm paying for Pauline's son's sex life. I'm ripshit that her daughter, who has worked her ass off and been a terrific help and kept up her end of the contract with us is getting the short end of the stick. I don't give a shit if her son is a bully, Pauline needs to call the cops and have him removed from her home and provide for the one kid which she is still legally obligated to support.
Wednesday, July 09, 2003
Man, I'm just tired.
Pauline came up to visit with us and we went to a local water park today. We're so sunburned and tired.
I miss my house with just my kids and just my husband. I am glad to help out, but it's just so much all the time and sometimes, I just feel tired.
I miss Mike mostly. To the good, we can lock the door and go into our room and just spend time talking and hanging out. Today, with the car full of kids and Pauline, I stopped to get my water shoes out of the back of Mike's car and I called him on the cell and asked him to come downstairs. He came out, I smooched him and we drove off.
Pauline said I was cute. I just am in love. I miss him a lot, too. With all of these kids, it's hard to have a spare moment alone with him hanging out in the livingroom. We saw T3 (dumb dumb dumb movie) and we saw it late at night, which was nice, but I miss our quiet hour or so in the evening cuddling on the couch without a 15 year old thinking we're big horny lechers. (We are, but yeesh!)
I also feel like when I have someone here, I am supposed to entertain them, so I haven't painted nor have I hardly unpacked, which sucks big wang. I want to finish my painting and I want to be able to just take a nap with the kids, if the mood strikes me and things are just too crazy right now to do that. Add to things that I am now sewing blankets and quilts for A's pregnant 15 year old friend, and there aren't enough hours in the day to sew my curtains for my kitchen or for my bathroom or a dress for Genny or a throwover for me for the pool.
The icing on the cake is that Russell's meds are just not working and he's been pretty bad. Today wasn't too awful because we just kept him running and I kept him on his usual old meds for most of the day, which wasn't great, but it made his behavior tolerable. He's trying so hard and it just about kills me. I want him to be happy. I'd give anything for him to just be happy and have a great day.
Heck, I'd like that for me, too. I'm not unhappy, just stressed. Small surprise, I guess.
Pauline came up to visit with us and we went to a local water park today. We're so sunburned and tired.
I miss my house with just my kids and just my husband. I am glad to help out, but it's just so much all the time and sometimes, I just feel tired.
I miss Mike mostly. To the good, we can lock the door and go into our room and just spend time talking and hanging out. Today, with the car full of kids and Pauline, I stopped to get my water shoes out of the back of Mike's car and I called him on the cell and asked him to come downstairs. He came out, I smooched him and we drove off.
Pauline said I was cute. I just am in love. I miss him a lot, too. With all of these kids, it's hard to have a spare moment alone with him hanging out in the livingroom. We saw T3 (dumb dumb dumb movie) and we saw it late at night, which was nice, but I miss our quiet hour or so in the evening cuddling on the couch without a 15 year old thinking we're big horny lechers. (We are, but yeesh!)
I also feel like when I have someone here, I am supposed to entertain them, so I haven't painted nor have I hardly unpacked, which sucks big wang. I want to finish my painting and I want to be able to just take a nap with the kids, if the mood strikes me and things are just too crazy right now to do that. Add to things that I am now sewing blankets and quilts for A's pregnant 15 year old friend, and there aren't enough hours in the day to sew my curtains for my kitchen or for my bathroom or a dress for Genny or a throwover for me for the pool.
The icing on the cake is that Russell's meds are just not working and he's been pretty bad. Today wasn't too awful because we just kept him running and I kept him on his usual old meds for most of the day, which wasn't great, but it made his behavior tolerable. He's trying so hard and it just about kills me. I want him to be happy. I'd give anything for him to just be happy and have a great day.
Heck, I'd like that for me, too. I'm not unhappy, just stressed. Small surprise, I guess.
Wednesday, July 02, 2003
This morning I went to the spa pool and it was okay, but I think I need to work harder. It hurt a little, but I think I was taking it too easy because I'm not hurting much tonight and because my sugars are running high, which is way not usual after a good workout. I put in a half hour of solid water work -- jogging in the water, x-c skiing, kicking, etc., but I think it was just not quite hard enough, so tomorrow, I think I'll go a little early to avoid the nosy gabbing old people and try again, working for more aerobic-ness and more time. I may even try out in the pool first and then go to the spa to warm up and get the cold out of my joints.
Today, Genny just kind of lost it. I don't know what crawled up her patooty, but man, she was just the crowned Princess of Piss and Vinegar and that's even next to the teenager with advanced PMS. It all kind of culminated with an hour of meltdown from 5-6. Word, I've never seen this kid lose it like she lost it tonight. I don't know if having to share all her stuff and her room with the teenager just hit her and turned her little world upside down today or if she's getting sick. I almost hope it's the latter because I can fix that better than the space invasion of a teenager.
The teenager is going to a drawing class tomorrow and much like Rudolph, I could even say she glows. She's very psyched about it, but she had a hard time accepting it. I think to some degree, no one has ever done something this nice for her before and she was stunned about the money. I'm really glad to be able to show her that we think she's way worth it.
While we're not rolling in money, I put in extra time on the contract and got a little extra cash and after I find out what the dental damage is tomorrow at the dentist's, we'll know how much I need to pay my dental bills to get my teeth somewhere near cleaned up, capped, and done from the stock options. I'm hoping we can avoid the whole damned thing and work out a reasonable payment plan, but I suspect it won't be that tremendously reasonable for our restricted budget in the face of my not-really-working status.
I'm getting psyched about school. I was hoping to work on a book idea with a professor, but she blew me off for the summer, so I'll approach it in the fall.
We're still figuring out the 4th celebration plans, but I think it'll be BBQ here and then we'll drive to the city and see the fireworks. We might be able to drive up a dirt road and watch two cities worth from a mountain crest, but I need to scope out the roads during the day.
My husband is naked in my bed and giving me that come hither nod. Must. go. hither.
Today, Genny just kind of lost it. I don't know what crawled up her patooty, but man, she was just the crowned Princess of Piss and Vinegar and that's even next to the teenager with advanced PMS. It all kind of culminated with an hour of meltdown from 5-6. Word, I've never seen this kid lose it like she lost it tonight. I don't know if having to share all her stuff and her room with the teenager just hit her and turned her little world upside down today or if she's getting sick. I almost hope it's the latter because I can fix that better than the space invasion of a teenager.
The teenager is going to a drawing class tomorrow and much like Rudolph, I could even say she glows. She's very psyched about it, but she had a hard time accepting it. I think to some degree, no one has ever done something this nice for her before and she was stunned about the money. I'm really glad to be able to show her that we think she's way worth it.
While we're not rolling in money, I put in extra time on the contract and got a little extra cash and after I find out what the dental damage is tomorrow at the dentist's, we'll know how much I need to pay my dental bills to get my teeth somewhere near cleaned up, capped, and done from the stock options. I'm hoping we can avoid the whole damned thing and work out a reasonable payment plan, but I suspect it won't be that tremendously reasonable for our restricted budget in the face of my not-really-working status.
I'm getting psyched about school. I was hoping to work on a book idea with a professor, but she blew me off for the summer, so I'll approach it in the fall.
We're still figuring out the 4th celebration plans, but I think it'll be BBQ here and then we'll drive to the city and see the fireworks. We might be able to drive up a dirt road and watch two cities worth from a mountain crest, but I need to scope out the roads during the day.
My husband is naked in my bed and giving me that come hither nod. Must. go. hither.
Tuesday, July 01, 2003
Teenagers are a lot of work, specifically female ones. I am so glad that my next interaction with a teenager in a parental capacity will be with a boy, not a girl and that I'm looking at at least a good 10 years before I have to deal with a female teenager again.
I love this girl. I love her like my own. She's suffered pretty awful things and I think about the time she flinched when I reached up by her head into a cabinet that I realized just how much.
According to her mom, I've been spoiling her rotten. I've bought her underwear, socks, a pair of jeans, some shirts, and a bra. She had nothing but 3 halter tops and a single t-shirt when she arrived, which was all she owned in the world, aside from a couple of jeans, and a smattering of underwear. (Okay, we also hit the Mexican bread shop and Krispy Kremes, but whatEver) Her halter tops left little to the imagination and I finally pulled her aside and said that this was a really conservative area (Little Mormonville situated just south of Baptismal Fount) and that that kind of clothing was inappropriate. Pauline said she had not bought her any of the clothes she brought, so I'm assuming that her charming daddy did. She hasn't been living with Pauline but for a few weeks, so that's the most likely.
Overall, I thought that I chose a pretty tactful way to say, "Hey, you're my 15 year old niece and you look like a tramp!"
Mike and I are cashing out stock options that have gone from being worth 15 to 40 bucks per share (in 3 months) to have extra cash. We both feel that she's had so little for so long that we are happy to find a way to give her something. We just keep telling ourselves that he can use the employee stock purchase plan to recover some of this and because the stock just split, it won't kill us nearly as much. *sigh* I'm putting her in an art class because one of the kids at the Christian youth group made aspersions about her heritage, claiming that he was just making a joke. I didn't find it funny and she was hurt by it, so I'm taking her to the library at will and she'll be taking this drawing class once a week while she's here because drawing is something she loves to do. Her mom is coming up next week to visit, so we'll all go to the local water park with the kids and hang. I might look into something else, but I'll see how happy she is and go from there.
She's been heavy on the guilt trip with her mom, but Pauline is hanging in there and not giving in because she told her "Too bad, you're going to have to stay." I've assured her that we're spoiling A rotten and while A whines about missing her friends, she's enjoying herself anyhow. She's tried pushing on the phone privileges, which I cut up short when she and I both knew she'd exceeded her limits. Mike was very clear with me about what was okay with him and what wasn't, so I've held the line fiercely. We were going to drive her home for an eye appointment and then I realized she was doing stuff that made it clear that she planned on making a run for it when we got back. I talked to her mom and we agreed that perhaps she just needed to wait on that eye appointment, but I also scratched my cornea with a drop of bacon grease, so I think it was all God's will. Everything for a reason.
The only real bummer is that a strange girl called on her boyfriend's cell and hung up on us one morning a half dozen times and finally demanded to know who I was and I identified myself and she hung up. Suffice it to say that we don't think the BF is keeping his nose clean despite the fact that he declared that "I think I love you." to her before they left. However, give this girl credit, she said that,"Hey, I've only known you 6 months, so I don't know if I love you or not." He was nonetheless unamused, apparently such that he can't keep it in his pants. Teenagers!
To follow up on the bacon grease, I saw the doctor yesterday and he said it was healed, so I'm good. No worries. I've gained weight, but I found out that there's a spa pool I could go work out in mornings. My biggest complaint with working out in water in winter is that it's cold, so now, I've got no excuses. I am going to start bolting for an hour or so mornings so I can get some working out time in there. It feels wonderful on my arthritis, and the weight loss would be lovely for my self esteem and diabetes. I got on a scale at the doctor and while it wasn't pretty, it wasn't as bad as I thought either.
Tomorrow morning, I'll be the big fat broad hauling my butt to the spa pool at the buttcrack of dawn. I figure a significant reduction of my buttcrack is a small price to pay for the lack of sleep.
I love this girl. I love her like my own. She's suffered pretty awful things and I think about the time she flinched when I reached up by her head into a cabinet that I realized just how much.
According to her mom, I've been spoiling her rotten. I've bought her underwear, socks, a pair of jeans, some shirts, and a bra. She had nothing but 3 halter tops and a single t-shirt when she arrived, which was all she owned in the world, aside from a couple of jeans, and a smattering of underwear. (Okay, we also hit the Mexican bread shop and Krispy Kremes, but whatEver) Her halter tops left little to the imagination and I finally pulled her aside and said that this was a really conservative area (Little Mormonville situated just south of Baptismal Fount) and that that kind of clothing was inappropriate. Pauline said she had not bought her any of the clothes she brought, so I'm assuming that her charming daddy did. She hasn't been living with Pauline but for a few weeks, so that's the most likely.
Overall, I thought that I chose a pretty tactful way to say, "Hey, you're my 15 year old niece and you look like a tramp!"
Mike and I are cashing out stock options that have gone from being worth 15 to 40 bucks per share (in 3 months) to have extra cash. We both feel that she's had so little for so long that we are happy to find a way to give her something. We just keep telling ourselves that he can use the employee stock purchase plan to recover some of this and because the stock just split, it won't kill us nearly as much. *sigh* I'm putting her in an art class because one of the kids at the Christian youth group made aspersions about her heritage, claiming that he was just making a joke. I didn't find it funny and she was hurt by it, so I'm taking her to the library at will and she'll be taking this drawing class once a week while she's here because drawing is something she loves to do. Her mom is coming up next week to visit, so we'll all go to the local water park with the kids and hang. I might look into something else, but I'll see how happy she is and go from there.
She's been heavy on the guilt trip with her mom, but Pauline is hanging in there and not giving in because she told her "Too bad, you're going to have to stay." I've assured her that we're spoiling A rotten and while A whines about missing her friends, she's enjoying herself anyhow. She's tried pushing on the phone privileges, which I cut up short when she and I both knew she'd exceeded her limits. Mike was very clear with me about what was okay with him and what wasn't, so I've held the line fiercely. We were going to drive her home for an eye appointment and then I realized she was doing stuff that made it clear that she planned on making a run for it when we got back. I talked to her mom and we agreed that perhaps she just needed to wait on that eye appointment, but I also scratched my cornea with a drop of bacon grease, so I think it was all God's will. Everything for a reason.
The only real bummer is that a strange girl called on her boyfriend's cell and hung up on us one morning a half dozen times and finally demanded to know who I was and I identified myself and she hung up. Suffice it to say that we don't think the BF is keeping his nose clean despite the fact that he declared that "I think I love you." to her before they left. However, give this girl credit, she said that,"Hey, I've only known you 6 months, so I don't know if I love you or not." He was nonetheless unamused, apparently such that he can't keep it in his pants. Teenagers!
To follow up on the bacon grease, I saw the doctor yesterday and he said it was healed, so I'm good. No worries. I've gained weight, but I found out that there's a spa pool I could go work out in mornings. My biggest complaint with working out in water in winter is that it's cold, so now, I've got no excuses. I am going to start bolting for an hour or so mornings so I can get some working out time in there. It feels wonderful on my arthritis, and the weight loss would be lovely for my self esteem and diabetes. I got on a scale at the doctor and while it wasn't pretty, it wasn't as bad as I thought either.
Tomorrow morning, I'll be the big fat broad hauling my butt to the spa pool at the buttcrack of dawn. I figure a significant reduction of my buttcrack is a small price to pay for the lack of sleep.
Tuesday, June 24, 2003
I guess I have always been one of those people who would sooner kill someone than have someone I love suffer.
I have a lot of suffering loved ones around me right now and that makes me sad. And no, I'm not really going to go out and kill someone, but lately that thought has crossed my mind.
I can't believe I bought that SOB a nice dinner once.
I have a lot of suffering loved ones around me right now and that makes me sad. And no, I'm not really going to go out and kill someone, but lately that thought has crossed my mind.
I can't believe I bought that SOB a nice dinner once.
Monday, June 23, 2003
I got the girl on Friday.
God, I'm old.
I feel appalled by a 15 year old who knows what kind of beer she likes and mentions that between her pregnant friend and her, she was sure she'd be the first to get pregnant.
Winnie the FlippinPooh, what?
She's kind of on limitations...no phone calls except to her mom, and no one else for a week.
We changed the phone bill to be a standard charge for all calls and I'm keeping her busy doing stuff. It's just hard. I feel like things should be much more exciting. And they're not.
Today we did get thunderstorms for most of the day and a fair amount of rain with snow on the mountains. First week of summer, my big white buttochs.
I'm feeling overwhelmed by teenagerhood. I'm glad Bear's just in puberty. It's not as tenuous.
God, I'm old.
I feel appalled by a 15 year old who knows what kind of beer she likes and mentions that between her pregnant friend and her, she was sure she'd be the first to get pregnant.
Winnie the FlippinPooh, what?
She's kind of on limitations...no phone calls except to her mom, and no one else for a week.
We changed the phone bill to be a standard charge for all calls and I'm keeping her busy doing stuff. It's just hard. I feel like things should be much more exciting. And they're not.
Today we did get thunderstorms for most of the day and a fair amount of rain with snow on the mountains. First week of summer, my big white buttochs.
I'm feeling overwhelmed by teenagerhood. I'm glad Bear's just in puberty. It's not as tenuous.
Thursday, June 19, 2003
Well, after much back and forth with Pauline and her daugher, I'm going to go pick up her daughter (A) on Friday because Pauline has the day off and it works out best for me to do that. She's going to stay until August, but after talking with her daughter, I'm feeling better about it.
She's apparently having friend trouble and Pauline is worried about her getting into some kind of cat fight thing and going back to Juvenile Hall. A's been getting a lot of shit that resembles Mexican girl gang material and Pauline thinks that just removing her daughter from the situation will defuse it. I think it will help and it would be nice to have help this summer with the kids and getting the house together. One thing I'd like to do is finish the painting and I could do that if someone kept an eye on Genny for me. The drag is that A needs glasses because her dad never bothered to get the ones they left at a doctor's office for reference and never bothered to get her new ones even though she has insurance. I'm going to have to fill out paperwork for Medicaid for her while she's here. I wish we could just cover her under Mike's insurance, but his company probably won't cover that.
She's apparently having friend trouble and Pauline is worried about her getting into some kind of cat fight thing and going back to Juvenile Hall. A's been getting a lot of shit that resembles Mexican girl gang material and Pauline thinks that just removing her daughter from the situation will defuse it. I think it will help and it would be nice to have help this summer with the kids and getting the house together. One thing I'd like to do is finish the painting and I could do that if someone kept an eye on Genny for me. The drag is that A needs glasses because her dad never bothered to get the ones they left at a doctor's office for reference and never bothered to get her new ones even though she has insurance. I'm going to have to fill out paperwork for Medicaid for her while she's here. I wish we could just cover her under Mike's insurance, but his company probably won't cover that.
Monday, June 16, 2003
After posting despondently on my kids's list, I got a lot of great suggestions, so the boy and I sat down and made a schedule. We have a schedule for most of the summer, including swim lessons, visit to museums, water parks, see movies, go to the big local lake, take small hikes, etc. We have stuff planned for the summer, such that when I got to the week of August 19th, when I start my grad assistantship, Russell groaned in disappointment at the prospect of me going back to work -- totally cool that my 9 year old thinks it's cool to hang out with Mom.
The library has cool stuff going on on Thursday evenings, so I library day will be then, which will work nicely around their swimming lesson schedules.
---
Lately, I've been wondering about Pauline. I wondered why I hadn't heard from her, assumed she must be getting laid, and thought about calling her, but then got busy.
This weekend I got a message from her, so I called her back and left a message. Then she phone-tagged me back today, and I called her and caught her. Her sons have grown up and moved out and her daughter had been living with her father, Pauline's ex-something. The middle boy had had an altercation, where he defended himself against getting hit by his father and then his father called the cops, had the kid dumped into Juvenile Hall for assaulting him. The kid got a slap on the wrist and went and lived with Pauline afterwards. Her daughter, however, has stayed with Daddy because he turns a blind eye to her doing whatever her teenage head dreamed up. Well, finally, dad decided to hit his daughter and when the girl stood up to him and fought back, he tried the same routine and had her in Juvenile Hall for three weeks. When it came to court, however, he had the same judge, who looked at him and said,"One kid maybe, but two kids can't be bad. You're the one common denominator" and the judge tossed the case out. However, apparently, despite the fact that she's living with her mom and social services has designated her with some kind of numbering that means they understand that her custody is in limbo, her custody is still with the father.
Enter Pauline's phone call. Pauline works nights and she can't keep on top of a willful horny 15 year old with problems. Apparently, she ran up Pauline's phone bill several hundred $ calling much older males in the Bay Area. Pauline is struggling as it is, so an extravagant phone bill is a ball breaker. so she's asked Mike and I to take her for a month until she can get a week's vacation and spend time setting up a schedule and the like with the girl. She said she needs a break. At first, she'd said a couple weeks, but when I questioned her further, she really meant 5 weeks. *sigh*
I love this kid, but I haven't spent any time around her for nearly 3 years. I know she's been a spoiled little brat for a long time and that Pauline is hoping I'll blow money we don't have on this kid, but I can't. We're on a different budget without me working. What we said is that we'd take it a day at a time with her. I said if things were going well, she could stay, but that if things starting going funky, we'd ship her back to Pauline.
I'm very concerned about the custody issues, so I'm placing calls to the county social services department where they are from and seeing what I can find out as to what I need to do to protect myself and still let this kid come to "summer camp" on the farm. The biggest fear I have in the back of my mind is that Pauline is planning on ditching her daughter with us. I am not averse to caring for any child, but my feeling is that Pauline needs to face the music and the needs of her child because I won't be party to her breaking her kid's heart.
The library has cool stuff going on on Thursday evenings, so I library day will be then, which will work nicely around their swimming lesson schedules.
---
Lately, I've been wondering about Pauline. I wondered why I hadn't heard from her, assumed she must be getting laid, and thought about calling her, but then got busy.
This weekend I got a message from her, so I called her back and left a message. Then she phone-tagged me back today, and I called her and caught her. Her sons have grown up and moved out and her daughter had been living with her father, Pauline's ex-something. The middle boy had had an altercation, where he defended himself against getting hit by his father and then his father called the cops, had the kid dumped into Juvenile Hall for assaulting him. The kid got a slap on the wrist and went and lived with Pauline afterwards. Her daughter, however, has stayed with Daddy because he turns a blind eye to her doing whatever her teenage head dreamed up. Well, finally, dad decided to hit his daughter and when the girl stood up to him and fought back, he tried the same routine and had her in Juvenile Hall for three weeks. When it came to court, however, he had the same judge, who looked at him and said,"One kid maybe, but two kids can't be bad. You're the one common denominator" and the judge tossed the case out. However, apparently, despite the fact that she's living with her mom and social services has designated her with some kind of numbering that means they understand that her custody is in limbo, her custody is still with the father.
Enter Pauline's phone call. Pauline works nights and she can't keep on top of a willful horny 15 year old with problems. Apparently, she ran up Pauline's phone bill several hundred $ calling much older males in the Bay Area. Pauline is struggling as it is, so an extravagant phone bill is a ball breaker. so she's asked Mike and I to take her for a month until she can get a week's vacation and spend time setting up a schedule and the like with the girl. She said she needs a break. At first, she'd said a couple weeks, but when I questioned her further, she really meant 5 weeks. *sigh*
I love this kid, but I haven't spent any time around her for nearly 3 years. I know she's been a spoiled little brat for a long time and that Pauline is hoping I'll blow money we don't have on this kid, but I can't. We're on a different budget without me working. What we said is that we'd take it a day at a time with her. I said if things were going well, she could stay, but that if things starting going funky, we'd ship her back to Pauline.
I'm very concerned about the custody issues, so I'm placing calls to the county social services department where they are from and seeing what I can find out as to what I need to do to protect myself and still let this kid come to "summer camp" on the farm. The biggest fear I have in the back of my mind is that Pauline is planning on ditching her daughter with us. I am not averse to caring for any child, but my feeling is that Pauline needs to face the music and the needs of her child because I won't be party to her breaking her kid's heart.
Thursday, June 12, 2003
I've never been a stay-at-home (SAH) mom before. I've always worked. While I've worked at home in the past year or two, it's not the same because I still have someone there watching and playing with the kids while I do my work.
I've been feeling really stressed out because I simply don't know what to do with the kids. It's kind of like one big weekend all the time. I get to sleep in with them and we snuggle and giggle in bed, make and eat breakfast together and then what? On the weekends, Mike and I are cleaning, washing, and doing house stuff one day, typically, and then the other, we screw around, watch TV, go out to a movie, or play miniature golf or something. I am having a hard time figuring out how I am supposed to get house stuff done, and still keep track of kids, without them being bored senseless in the process somewhere.
I had all of these dreams of doing a load of laundry every day, but as usual, I've got a basket of folded, but not put away stuff sitting in my room and barrels upon barrels out in the garage to get done.
I feel inept at this whole SAH thing. Russell is delighted and he loves to have the time with me, even if he has been fighting me over every little stinking damned thing -- med transitions suck. Today, after I'd come >< close to strangling him, I made him go into his room, lay on his bed and close his eyes for "at least one hour." 1.5 hours later, he came out and was as nice as pie to me. I guess I called it.
Part of the problem today is that I had to get Russell up to town for a haircut and a dentist appointment, so I got out of the house without my meds and that just made for a lot more foggybrainedness than perhaps was necessary.
Tomorrow, I start walking with the kids every day. It'll be good for all of us.
I've been feeling really stressed out because I simply don't know what to do with the kids. It's kind of like one big weekend all the time. I get to sleep in with them and we snuggle and giggle in bed, make and eat breakfast together and then what? On the weekends, Mike and I are cleaning, washing, and doing house stuff one day, typically, and then the other, we screw around, watch TV, go out to a movie, or play miniature golf or something. I am having a hard time figuring out how I am supposed to get house stuff done, and still keep track of kids, without them being bored senseless in the process somewhere.
I had all of these dreams of doing a load of laundry every day, but as usual, I've got a basket of folded, but not put away stuff sitting in my room and barrels upon barrels out in the garage to get done.
I feel inept at this whole SAH thing. Russell is delighted and he loves to have the time with me, even if he has been fighting me over every little stinking damned thing -- med transitions suck. Today, after I'd come >< close to strangling him, I made him go into his room, lay on his bed and close his eyes for "at least one hour." 1.5 hours later, he came out and was as nice as pie to me. I guess I called it.
Part of the problem today is that I had to get Russell up to town for a haircut and a dentist appointment, so I got out of the house without my meds and that just made for a lot more foggybrainedness than perhaps was necessary.
Tomorrow, I start walking with the kids every day. It'll be good for all of us.
Tuesday, June 10, 2003
My darling boy was getting too much medication, apparently, so we are backing off his ritalin a bit and adding in some strattera, which was a prozac knockoff that didn't work for most folks. Then they discovered that it worked in ADHD people. Unfortunately, it does little for focus, but does help behavioral issues wonderfully. My doctor says that a combo of the two is believed to be the future of ADHD meds. Oh, yay. More drugs.
I really wish I could just take him off the meds and have him be something other than a raging psycho. Because when he doesn't take the meds, that's what he is. And mind you, I love him and think he's an adorable little boy with gorgeous big brown eyes, and about the smartest kid on the planet, but I know what he's like when he doesn't take his meds, and honestly, you wouldn't know him when he's without meds.
I keep trying to tell myself that I could weather it through...just take him off the meds and use alternative means, but it would mean a lot of suffering for all of us. I finally came to the conclusion that medication sometimes is to reduce suffering. I remember back when he was grounded all the time in the days before meds. And I wasn't mean and I didn't spank him, but I had to do something, so he lost privileges. Now, he gets grounded only for a day at a time once in a great while -- not the months and months that it used to be. In order to take him off meds, I'd have to take away things he likes: the TV, the Gameboy, the computer, and movies. I don't want to take away things he likes and cares about. He likes how he is in control when he takes the meds. Sometimes he thinks the meds are what make him. I keep explaining that they are just a tool for him to use to figure out the person he would like to become.
He likes that idea. Honestly, so do I.
I really wish I could just take him off the meds and have him be something other than a raging psycho. Because when he doesn't take the meds, that's what he is. And mind you, I love him and think he's an adorable little boy with gorgeous big brown eyes, and about the smartest kid on the planet, but I know what he's like when he doesn't take his meds, and honestly, you wouldn't know him when he's without meds.
I keep trying to tell myself that I could weather it through...just take him off the meds and use alternative means, but it would mean a lot of suffering for all of us. I finally came to the conclusion that medication sometimes is to reduce suffering. I remember back when he was grounded all the time in the days before meds. And I wasn't mean and I didn't spank him, but I had to do something, so he lost privileges. Now, he gets grounded only for a day at a time once in a great while -- not the months and months that it used to be. In order to take him off meds, I'd have to take away things he likes: the TV, the Gameboy, the computer, and movies. I don't want to take away things he likes and cares about. He likes how he is in control when he takes the meds. Sometimes he thinks the meds are what make him. I keep explaining that they are just a tool for him to use to figure out the person he would like to become.
He likes that idea. Honestly, so do I.
Sunday, June 08, 2003
Okay, so I've had a week off from painting and now, I'm all feeling ready to hump a paint can again. What's up with that? I told Mike that and while he promised not to laugh, I don't think I've seen a look of that large dose of disdain in some time. It bordered on the "just how fucking crazy are you, woman?" look.
I have all but the kids' bathroom and the kitchen done. I have this idea in my head to paint the kids' bathroom white and sponge bright yellow over it, which would actually be kind of neat. It'll bright and cheery in a room with no window.
We bought a pool this week and I kept telling Mike that it needed to be on a flat surface and it's slopping heavily to one side, and we found what appears to be a nail trying to poke through the bottom of it. So we're watering the garden with it and then we'll relevel things. Mike wants desperately to put everything on cement. Cement is expensive, I've tried to explain, but then we're both in do-it-yourself mode and have delusions of gradeur about figuring it out and having this wonderful cement surface which would surround the pool and allow for sunning and make the sand elsewhere. But of course, he thought if we didn't use chlorine that the filter would take care of things. Today he saw all the clouding and realized the error of his ways and so we're watering.
Often, lately, in the course of watering, I've been finding lizards. And usually I think lizards are pretty cute and stuff, but these are pretty good sized and they give me the willies a little. I try not to let on about that to Russell because if I gave him the faintest reason to suspect that they freak me out, he'd be more freaky-deaky about things that crawl and bite and squirm than usual. I swear -- today we were floundering about in the pool and Russell said something about a snake. I playfully slid a styrofoam noodle by his shoulder and told him to watch out for the snake and he jumped three feet into the air.
I don't like snakes, but I just back away and that's that. He actively worries about coming across his next snake. *sigh*
I have all but the kids' bathroom and the kitchen done. I have this idea in my head to paint the kids' bathroom white and sponge bright yellow over it, which would actually be kind of neat. It'll bright and cheery in a room with no window.
We bought a pool this week and I kept telling Mike that it needed to be on a flat surface and it's slopping heavily to one side, and we found what appears to be a nail trying to poke through the bottom of it. So we're watering the garden with it and then we'll relevel things. Mike wants desperately to put everything on cement. Cement is expensive, I've tried to explain, but then we're both in do-it-yourself mode and have delusions of gradeur about figuring it out and having this wonderful cement surface which would surround the pool and allow for sunning and make the sand elsewhere. But of course, he thought if we didn't use chlorine that the filter would take care of things. Today he saw all the clouding and realized the error of his ways and so we're watering.
Often, lately, in the course of watering, I've been finding lizards. And usually I think lizards are pretty cute and stuff, but these are pretty good sized and they give me the willies a little. I try not to let on about that to Russell because if I gave him the faintest reason to suspect that they freak me out, he'd be more freaky-deaky about things that crawl and bite and squirm than usual. I swear -- today we were floundering about in the pool and Russell said something about a snake. I playfully slid a styrofoam noodle by his shoulder and told him to watch out for the snake and he jumped three feet into the air.
I don't like snakes, but I just back away and that's that. He actively worries about coming across his next snake. *sigh*
Thursday, June 05, 2003
Harsh Betty sent me five questions for an early Friday five familiar.
- Name something which you spent a lot of time doing / dealing with /
experiencing a year ago, but it's no longer a big part of your life today.
Having, maintaining, dealing with a JOB, in particular a job I totally hated with every fiber, molecule, atom, and subatomic structure of my being. I get up for myself, for my kids, for my husband, for my house, for my own selfish and nefarious purposes. I water my plants, feed my chickens, feed my kids, take a shower, have sex with my husband, and I LOVE it! No, and I don't just mean the sex, though that's definitely fun.
- Name one thing you regret doing, and another that you regret *not*
doing.
I dunno. I guess I feel like regret is a guilt trip I choose not to take most of the time. I regret leaving New England sometimes. I miss my family -- my parents, brother, and grandparents and assorted family live there and I miss them a lot. I regret not sticking to my exercise plan. It has really sucked to do the yo-yo weight thing. A lot. I'm changing that, but it's an ongoing battle and I hate that.
- Was there anybody other than a member of your immediate family who had a
big influence on you when you were a kid? Who was it, and how did they
influence you?
Mrs. Barbara Cohen, my 12th grade English teacher. She encouraged me in my writing and was the sole reason I majored in English. Ever. Or even showed another soul on the entire planet my poetry and writing. She is the reason I consider myself a writer now. I loved her, her class, and while she was considered a battleaxe by some, I adored her because she empowered me.
- What, for you, didn't live up to all the hype?
Star Wars, Episode 2. Could it have been any more schmarmy? Yeesh!
- What's the best thing, within reason, that could happen with the rest of
the day? (obviously it would be great to find out you'd won a $100 million
lottery, had accidentally cured cancer and perfected cold fusion, and Kevin
Costner is on his way over with a bottle of champagne and another of massage
oil ... but be a little more realistic, ok?)
That the house would become spotless, the shelving installed appropriately, the fridge cleaned so that the smell went away, the kitchen cleaned with decorations hung, the pool filled without depleting the well, and my room and bathroom cleared of boxes --unpacked or not, and that despite their chaotic, destructive tendencies, the children would not fight like cats and dogs nor thrash my clean house.. Oh, and that my husband would use the massager to rub my shoulders and back at days's end as foreplay to foreplay.
I'm betting I'll get everything except the kids fighting and thrashing.
My darling son is so smart and wonderful and such a hard worker. I don't say this because I'm biased, though I am. I say this because he just made honor roll with a 3.42. He is so thrilled and I am thrilled blind for him.
It's amazing when you finally see them winning. He's happy and I am delirious to watch him.
It's amazing when you finally see them winning. He's happy and I am delirious to watch him.
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