Dear God,

I know you're testing me lately. I am studying hard and I hope I'm doing well. Someday, I'd like to make honor roll.

Today, my 15 year old friend and niece started to just leave. She made it so I could find her easily, so she wasn't really leaving, but I'd been suspecting she was sad and depressed, because she'd been hitting me so much. She made it seem like play, but when someone is always hitting you, it's like they're trying to get your attention. I kept wondering what she didn't think I was attending and today we found out.

I touched her toe and made a smooching noise and that's the straw that broke the camel's back, apparently, because she left me at the restaurant with my two kids and the unpaid bill. I watched where she walked, paid the bill, strapped the kids in the car and drove down the road 4 blocks. I called 911 and as I was transferred to the police, I saw her up ahead walking on the same street, so I picked her up and talked with her. We discussed that we love each other and that people who love each other don't just up and leave. I asked her what was going on and she said she's worrying. I said,"OK, when we get home, Genny goes down for a nap, Russell goes into the bathroom with the fan on to clean it, and you and I are going to talk."

I cried all the way home as I drove, just tears streaming down my face, quietly. Remember, God, I prayed? Thanks for hearing my prayers because when she did talk, I sat quietly and listened and I asked questions to get more answers. We reiterated the same conversation over again -- pete and repeat -- how if things go to shit, she can stay here and she'll be safe and have her needs met. How her mom seems to be making the strides necessary to provide for her. She looked desperately sad and I asked why the toe thing set her over the edge and she shrugged. I said,"After I had endured a lot of abuse, there were some things that triggered me, sometimes for no reason." I told her about my weirdnesses about hair and hairbrushes. She looked relieved and said that yeah, sometimes she has the same thing. I said that she'd been hitting, kicking and punching me for days and that I had been worried, but waiting.

She apologized.

I told her I loved her. She told me she loved me back.

And for the first time all week, she went to her room and slept.

I may not be able to save the world, and maybe even not her, but I feel I am doing the right thing by making the effort. God, you tell me to love and I hope I love enough.

God, please hold A in the light and take all my wishes and hopes for her happiness and help her make them real in her life.

Love and adoration,
Wendy