I have decided that longaberger baskets are akin to the devil's work.

I went to one of those longaberger basket parties. It's one of those parties, that isn't really a party -- like tupperware, partylite, Mary Kay, etc., where you are lassoed into going because it's a friend or the friend of a friend and you sit through a 1-2 hour sales pitch that you nearly believe and then are offered cake and punch at the end. I was a good girl and didn't touch the cake or punch, but kept to the diet sodas and asked for cheese and crackers because I was hungry and my head was exploding and the thought of fucking up my sugars for over-priced baskets really pissed me off.

The whole pitch is that they are handmade, well-made, and made from wood and thus, built to last and built to be heirlooms that will incur value over time. A perusal of ebay demonstrates that the bulk of the "more value over time" stuff is a farce. Only baskets that are colored or very limited editions are more valuable over time. The one thing is that the baskets generally don't lose their value, however, so that's a good thing. And yes, they really are pretty, but there's just so much basketing a girl can be talked into.

Myself, I've gotten baskets I liked just fine at the dollar store, such as the baskets that the chickens use to lay their eggs in and the baskets that I organize my bills, office supplies, and various collected McDonald's Happy Meal toys that I like. I got a cool gold star basket from Michael's on sale a few years ago. I also found a neat newspaper basket in my travels and I bought a couple at Walmart.

However, with my kids, I have a hard time justifying the expense of $200 for a basket that will hold magazines for me in the bathroom. I also have a hard time justifying buying several expensive baskets at about $150/pop when I can get the same sizes cheaper as trunks for a third of the price.

I really like the baskets and I think they're pretty, but they're very expensive and they're more than I wanna spend. Also, I can't justify $25 for basket liner when I'm such a skilled seamstress and their fabric selections are hokier than hell. I'd buy a pattern for a liner, for example, so I could make my own, but damn. And the looks I got when I suggested such a blasphemous thing at this "party" were just amusing as hell. Also, the idea that you'd have to purchase special hanging decorations to put on the basket versus either making or buying them elsewhere, seemed well nigh on insane.

I think the high point of the "party" was when the woman was demonstrating a pie plate. She asked what we thought you could do with said pie plate, aside from the obvious of baking a pie in it. I quietly thought to myself, "you could shove it where the sun don't shine," but I failed to vocalize said thought. We suggested quiche, a centerpiece with candle, etc. Then she dropped the bomb -- "Why not write a note to your husband or children on it with a crayon?", she asked sweetly. Immediately, the answer came to me,"Because it costs $24 and my husband has broken every decent piece of china I've ever owned?"

However, I was good enough to just shut the fuck up and refrain from laughing hysterically in response.

The silence in the room after her little bomb told many tales, too.

Honestly, I'd rather buy tupperware. They have some really cool ovenware -- you can cook in it, freeze it, dishwasher it, and it'll still smoke your cigarette after sex for ya. That's what I'm talkin' about!

While tomorrow is money day and I've got lots of stuff I wanna buy, baskets aren't making the list, for some reason. I'm such a hard-assed witch. I tell ya. Instead, I'd like to buy a couple of rough-hewn pine wood tables for nightstands and stain them. I also am going to finish the dresser I've been painting in the garage. It's got the same brick red color of two of the bedroom walls and I've stencilled leaves and pine trees on it in metallic glittery copper, green, and gold art paints. It looks very cool. The final thing was rolling an mini oak-leaf roller across the dresser in a few places in copper paint. Truly awesome. Mike thought it was way cool. He said astounded,"Wow, I didn't know you were going to do that! That's awesome."

*preen*

Other than that, husband and I have discussed and agreed that we will buy a printer- fax-copier-scanner machine for the home office. We seem to really need that fax a lot and a copier beats having him do it at work. We're also paying off every credit card except the mastercard. We're putting up a storm door. The kitchen will get new stuff -- the sink, the fan over the stove, refinished cabinets, and so forth. I'm also buying a new dryer. The guy at the Sears store felt so bad that the Kenmore I bought just three short years ago that I have had to replace everything on, is yet again, not working properly, that he's giving me a 10% discount on the new Whirlpool machine.

We're going to start cleaning out the garage. We'll also be saving like mad each month, so that come summer, we can put up insulation and drywall in the garage and start working toward finishing the garage and converting it to living space. In the spring, we'll cash out some stock we bought through Mike's company and that will put new windows on the house.

Thus, I am not buying baskets. ;)